Gay man: Have you ever smelled your ass, after you buttfuck? –18th & 6th Overheard by: Dana
Man: 40 is the new 30; my teacher said that. She said 12 is the new 11. But she used to say 11 was the new 10. –St. Mark’s Place
Girl: Later at night, my tongue gets sore because I’ve been playing with it so much. –St. Mark’s Place
Two boys were playing on a fire escape. Boy #1: Okay. Now I’ll be the policeman, and you be the fireworks on Coney Island. –Windsor Terrace
Drunk: You are here all the time! How are you here all the time? I come in at 2PM, you’re here. I come in at 5PM, you’re here. You are always here! When do you sleep?
Cashier: I am a twin. –Park Slope bodega, 5AM
Guy: I’ve been to Germany twice because I have a friend who’s from there. I went to Oktoberfest, but it was in June.
Hans: They had Oktoberfest in June? It must have been just for you…American tourists. –25th St. & 3rd Ave.
A tourist woman examines Dali’s masterpiece and comments: Oh hey, this is supposed to be famous, but I can’t remember why. –MoMA Overheard by: Greg Rutter
A fanboy brings up a mini-bust to the register.
Fanboy: Is this the last one?
Comic book guy: Mxyzptlk*? Yeah, I think so.
Fanboy: Bat-mite too?
Comic book guy: We might have more in the warehouse, but not here.
Fanboy: I’ll take them.
Comic book guy: We don’t charge extra for the dust. –Cosmic Comics, E. 23rd St. *Although he should have known better, he pronounced it Mixle-plick instead of the correct Mix-yez-pittle-ick.
Dude #1: I want a new printer but they’re too expensive.
Dude #2: Yeah, I know what you mean. I want to find a good cheap one.
Homeless busybody: Cheap?! That’s why you’re a fucking Jew!
Dude #2: Actually I’m not Jewish, but I’m glad you’re homeless! –W. 4th St.
Hip Hop Guy on cell: I’ll just keep my nuts shaved and everything’ll be fine. –Varick Street Coffee guy on phone: I’m not talking about whacking off, I’m talking about fried chicken! –Alt.coffee, Avenue A Overheard by: Dibson Hoffweiler