Suit on cell: I expected pus, but it’s got little black specks in it. –Pelham Bay Park, the Bronx Overheard by: HelenA.Handbasket Suit: When I said “fairy tale” I meant like Mother Goose–not Miss Dirty Martini! –F train Overheard by: braincurve Suit #1 to suit #2: Oh sure, I’ve got a source. I can get you a kidney, no problem. –Madison Square Park Female suit on cell: I don’t think you’re hearing what I’m saying. I think you’re in a very nagging place right now. –Duane & Broadway Overheard by: Rich Mintz Middle-Aged suit: Boobies boobies boobies. Boobies boobies boobies… –41st & 8th Suit on cell: So there’s gonna be total chaos on September 14th, but that’s all we have planned so far. –Church St Overheard by: Dara Suit: My goal in life is to one day sue someone. –A train Overheard by: LSB
Female Hipster, singing: Boom boom boom, let’s go back to my room…
Male Hipster: I remember when that song came out–that was the dirtiest song imaginable! — Lolita
Comedy show ticket hawker: Hey, come to a comedy show. It will be fun! C’mon!
Gary Gulman: Dude, I’m Gary Gulman! –Outside IFC Center, 6th Ave
A trader is on his cell while on the toilet. Trader: Is there a time-frame here? Through the stall is heard the response. Trader #2: If you see sudden movements, we’ll know it’s time. –Trading floor bathroom, Park Avenue Plaza Overheard by: Aaron H.
Hag: I see her point, I think that’s why I don’t have a boyfriend either. I’m just too high maintenence.
Queer: Ha! Girl, you are not high maintenance, you are just plain old needy. –17th & 5th Overheard by: Thirsty Violet Woman: You are not needy, you are so worth it! –Elephant and Castle, Greenwich Avenue Overheard by: wecantdraw
Conductor: May I see your ticket, please?
Drunk tranny: I already showed my ticket.
Conductor: Yes, but you haven’t showed it to me.
Drunk tranny: What the fuck? I already showed my damn ticket.
Conductor: OK, calm down. Just show me your ticket, please… I’ll come back for it to give you a minute to find it.
Drunk tranny: You are probably a leather queen. I pay $16,000 for a cunt and this is the disrespect I get. I am fucking changing cars. –Long Beach bound LIRR
Chick: Are you hungry? I have some leftover vietnamese food you can have.
Hobo: Well, what is it? I’m religious. I don’t eat pork.
Chick: There’s no pork. It’s just vegetarian noodles.
Hobo: Noodles? Nah, I’m trying to cut back on carbs. –Grand Central food court
Girl on cell: We got Chinese cable because it was cheaper than the cheap cable…Yeah, it’s all in Chinese…Whatever. As long as I watch things that I’ve already seen, I don’t need to actually know what they’re saying. –N train, Astoria Queer, on cell: Have you seen Victoria’s boyfriend lately? He looks great. She’s better than Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. –Eckerd, Astoria Mother, to kids: Sorry we just missed the fireworks, guys. It’s okay, though. I TiVoed it at home just in case. –79th St entrance, FDR Tourist, after eagerly struggling for camera air-time: You know what, Ma, I don’t think we’re gonna be able to watch this — it only airs today. –Taping of the Today Show, Rockefeller Center Overheard by: Stephen and Allison Girl: Well, today they had a woman who was born a man who married a man who was born a woman, so don’t shit on Maury Povich! –New York Public Library Overheard by: Actually READING at the Library Guy: Sweet Sixteen? That show makes me understand terrorism. –114th & Broadway
Chick: Where are we going?
Guy: The Junction.
Chick: Why are we going to the Junction?
Guy: Because you’re a loser. Because you question me. –D Train