Man, in Los Angeles: Cialdini’s Influence is the classic psychological book about how and why people are convinced. Woman: Ah, I should read that so I can learn to convince myself of things.
Archive for the ‘People’ Category
…and you’re the next douchebag
Hipster: Man, it’s like…SoHo’s becoming the next Williamsburg. –SoHo
“…and my identical sister goes to AMDA.”
Drunk: You are here all the time! How are you here all the time? I come in at 2PM, you’re here. I come in at 5PM, you’re here. You are always here! When do you sleep?
Cashier: I am a twin.
–Park Slope bodega, 5AM
“Then we had New Year’s in March.”
Guy: I’ve been to Germany twice because I have a friend who’s from there. I went to Oktoberfest, but it was in June.
Hans: They had Oktoberfest in June? It must have been just for you…American tourists.
–25th St. & 3rd Ave.
The Persistence of Irony
A tourist woman examines Dali’s masterpiece and comments: Oh hey, this is supposed to be famous, but I can’t remember why. –MoMA Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Here’s One for the Dorks
A fanboy brings up a mini-bust to the register.
Fanboy: Is this the last one?
Comic book guy: Mxyzptlk*? Yeah, I think so.
Fanboy: Bat-mite too?
Comic book guy: We might have more in the warehouse, but not here.
Fanboy: I’ll take them.
Comic book guy: We don’t charge extra for the dust.
–Cosmic Comics, E. 23rd St.
*Although he should have known better, he pronounced it Mixle-plick instead of the correct Mix-yez-pittle-ick.
Most New York Conversation Ever
Dude #1: I want a new printer but they’re too expensive.
Dude #2: Yeah, I know what you mean. I want to find a good cheap one.
Homeless busybody: Cheap?! That’s why you’re a fucking Jew!
Dude #2: Actually I’m not Jewish, but I’m glad you’re homeless!
–W. 4th St.
Seminal Wednesday One-liners
Hip Hop Guy on cell: I’ll just keep my nuts shaved and everything’ll be fine. –Varick Street Coffee guy on phone: I’m not talking about whacking off, I’m talking about fried chicken! –Alt.coffee, Avenue A Overheard by: Dibson Hoffweiler
Wednesday One-liners
Drunk Guy: That girl’s tits are huge! And it’s snowing! –Fordham A man on a tandem bicycle turns to the woman on it and says: You know, it’s remarkable just how much like weddings funerals actually are. –Varick Street Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz
It’s All Greek to Me
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee.
–Midtown office