A hobo is talking into his hand as if it were a phone. Hobo: Fuck that shit. I’m going dancing! He hangs up his imaginary phone. Hobo: Damn, that bitch talks too much. –Staten Island ferry
Teen boy #1: Oh man, it was like an episode of I Love Lucy.
Teen boy #2: I love who?
Teen boy #1: Lucy. Oh man,you don’t know what I Love Lucy is? Bam! I ain’t your friend no more. –Q train
Man: Jesus is coming, are you prepared?
Hipster guy: Well, he ain’t getting on this elevator!
Woman: Oh Jesus, who let this nut in the building? –Elevator, 42nd & Lexington Overheard by: Cirrus Monk
Man (to hipstress): You should get a tattoo of Ben Franklin. –22nd & Park Ave South Overheard by: Matt Law
Chick #1: That one guy’s kinda cute, but I think he’s gay.
Chick #2: Yeah, but I don’t think he knows it yet. Go for it. –Fat Black Pussy Cat, W. 3rd Street Overheard by: Djlindee
White Guy: White people can’t dance.
White Girl: I’m white and I can dance.
White Guy: Yeah, but you have tits. Anyone with tits looks good when they dance. –Happy Ending, Chinatown
Tween girl #1: I’m gonna call that number 1-800-DIVORCE. I want to divorce my parents.
Tween boy: You can’t divorce your parents, stupid. Can you marry your parents? No!
Tween girl #1: Technically, technically you can but that’s just sick.
Tween girl #2: You’re not really divorcing your parents. It’s more like they giving up they rights.
Tween girl #1: Look, I call it divorcing your parents because that’s what they called it on The Simpsons so that’s why I say it. –Q train
Man: Hey, I finally got that promotion!
Woman: Oh my god, congratulations! High five!
Man: Don’t touch me. –Times Square Overheard by: Aaliyah Leuschner
Drunk guy: Here’s hoping you’re in Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you’re dead.
Drunk girl: What’s that mean?
Drunk guy: It’s an Irish toast.
Drunk girl: Oh. Well, here’s to bread, eggs and cinnamon.
Drunk guy: Huh?
Drunk girl: That’s French toast. –Stoned Crow, Washington Place Overheard by: Gradie Smith
Guy #1: I got a letter from Rosalyn & Jimmy Carter.
Guy #2: Oh really? How are they doing?
Guy #1: Good, they want money. –Christopher & Bleecker Overheard by: Carl