Cum slut: I thought the spermicide would take the sperm away. But it stayed in there and just got itchy. And burns. –Ginger, Ave. A Overheard by: Tibbie X
Young woman: You need to get a car so you can take my kitty cat to the vet. –Starbucks, 71st & Broadway Overheard by: Zvi Mowshowitz
Daughter: You’re always humming that McDonalds song.
Daughter: You know…”da da da da da I’m loooovin’ it.”
Mother: No, honey. Goldfinger. *Ba ra ba rum*
Daughter: Oh. –Central Park
Woman: Something got stuck in my sinuses, then it went down my spine and had a party. –BBQ, UWS
A woman has a chihuahua in her purse. An old man enters the train.
Old man: Cute dog. Do you take him everywhere?
Woman: Uh huh. We saw Spider-man yesterday.
Old man: You saw Spider-man yesterday?
Old man: How did you like it?
Woman: Oh, you know. It is what it is.
Old man: Not that great, huh? Ha, ha. Well, take care. The man leaves the train. The woman looks down at her dog. Woman: That was weird. –V Train
Man (to hipstress): You should get a tattoo of Ben Franklin. –22nd & Park Ave South Overheard by: Matt Law
Middle-aged man, into his cell phone: It’s an oneg-shabbat. It’s just a big dinner where everyone can meet each other and talk. It’s only a few hundred dollars for you to sponsor it. [pause] Well, it’s really not a dinner. It’s just some fruit and plates for people to pick at. – Midtown
Female Hipster, singing: Boom boom boom, let’s go back to my room…
Male Hipster: I remember when that song came out–that was the dirtiest song imaginable! – Lolita
Chick: Where are we going?
Guy: The Junction.
Chick: Why are we going to the Junction?
Guy: Because you’re a loser. Because you question me. –D Train
20-something woman: You’re going to worship my mother when you meet her.
Man: I will?
Woman: Yes. Because I do. – Pizzeria, Boerum Hill