Middle-aged Man: “you know how people all over the world, chinese, african, whatever, they look different”
Middle-aged woman: “”well no matter where you go the chickens of the world, they look the same, ever thought about that”
Middle-aged Man: “I wonder if they speak the same language?”
– McDonald’s, by the corner of Houston & Hudson
Archive for the ‘Philosophy’ Category
But aren’t they the same anyway?
Man in a full-length fur coat: “I’m a socialist monarchist. I believe in helping the people, but the people can’t help themselves.” – W 83rd Post Office
Yeah, If You’re a Big Fat Fattie
Idiot: Happiness is a sandwich. –Quizno’s, 14th Street
The Zen of Metro North Maintenance
Conductor #1: Folks, if you’re looking for a seat, walk all the way to the back of the train. The last car is not even half full. Conductor #2: Or half empty. –Metro North train
Why NY is not Minneapolis
Middle-aged man at the Minneapolis airport: “When Minnesota first got the lotto, they had the scratch-off lottery cards. I waited on line in a corner store, and the clerk asked me if I wanted to buy one and I said, ‘No. I do not play the lottery.’ The person behind me, as I was leaving, bought a ticket and won $1,000. The clerk turned to me and said, ‘See, you should have bought a ticket!’ and I said to her, ‘No, I’m glad I didn’t. Because I don’t play the lottery.’”
“…so that’s why I’m lactating!”
Fashionista guy: Did you hear about Ange?
Fashionista girl: No, what?
Fashionista guy: She’s pregnant!
Fashionista girl: Oh my god! The whole world is pregnant!
Fashionista guy: Seriously.
–Midtown elevator
Wednesday One-liners
Old Southern Man: …so I said, if yer stoopid, you shouldn’t try and show it; you should try and hide it. –Soho NYU Guy: I didn’t wear my moccasins today, Arthur, and I’m still freezing! –W. 13th St. Overheard by: Dan Winckler
Happy Birthday, Mithras!
Red State Girl: Is that a hammer in your bag?
Dealer: Yeah. It’s a metaphor. ‘Cause Jesus was a carpenter, see. And I walk with Jesus.
Red State Girl: Oh.
–29th Street & 7th Ave.
Overheard by: M. Martin
Calling a Spade a Spade
Mr. Ivory: Why can’t I say the “N” word?
Mr. Ebony: Certain people can’t say certain things. Like we as Americans can say “Americans are so dumb to vote in Bush again”, but let a Canadian say that same thing and I will slap his ass.
–East Village
Satanic Fashion is Always Hot
Boy#1: So what are you going to do? Go to gospel choir practice or go shopping?
Boy#2: The sales are this week. God…is…forever.
Boy#1: …you may be going to Hell, but at least you’ll look good going.
–East Village
Overheard by: michi-L