Old Southern Man: …so I said, if yer stoopid, you shouldn’t try and show it; you should try and hide it. –Soho NYU Guy: I didn’t wear my moccasins today, Arthur, and I’m still freezing! –W. 13th St. Overheard by: Dan Winckler
Red State Girl: Is that a hammer in your bag?
Dealer: Yeah. It’s a metaphor. ‘Cause Jesus was a carpenter, see. And I walk with Jesus.
Red State Girl: Oh. –29th Street & 7th Ave. Overheard by: M. Martin
Mr. Ivory: Why can’t I say the “N” word?
Mr. Ebony: Certain people can’t say certain things. Like we as Americans can say “Americans are so dumb to vote in Bush again”, but let a Canadian say that same thing and I will slap his ass. –East Village
Hipster: “I just returned from the dark side” – Hipster getting off Bedford L into cell phone
20-something Intellectual: Facts are such a distraction from the essence of what’s really happening.
–Private Party, Brooklyn
Middle-aged Man: “you know how people all over the world, chinese, african, whatever, they look different”
Middle-aged woman: “”well no matter where you go the chickens of the world, they look the same, ever thought about that”
Middle-aged Man: “I wonder if they speak the same language?” – McDonald’s, by the corner of Houston & Hudson
Man in a full-length fur coat: “I’m a socialist monarchist. I believe in helping the people, but the people can’t help themselves.” – W 83rd Post Office
Smoking hobo: Hey man, can I get a cigarette?
Smoking man: You're already smoking one.
Smoking hobo: Gotta plan for the future!
Smoking man: Now you wanna plan?
–12th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Jay
Vapid girl: It's like how some people go on long runs to train for marathons. I eat cheese to condition my stomach for when I don't eat vegan.
Neighboring diner to girlfriend: The world will a much better place once we start eating people like her.
–Atlas Cafe, 2nd Ave
Teenage girl: You know you're from New York when you've never been to the Empire State Building.
Mother, after pause: Oh, yeah…
Overheard by: Lindsey