Calling a Spade a Spade

Mr. Ivory: Why can’t I say the “N” word?
Mr. Ebony: Certain people can’t say certain things. Like we as Americans can say “Americans are so dumb to vote in Bush again”, but let a Canadian say that same thing and I will slap his ass. –East Village

Satanic Fashion is Always Hot

Boy#1: So what are you going to do? Go to gospel choir practice or go shopping?
Boy#2: The sales are this week. God…is…forever.
Boy#1: …you may be going to Hell, but at least you’ll look good going. –East Village Overheard by: michi-L

Maybe He Should Be Labelled Smart Businessman

Businessman: I’m thinking that a $10 parking ticket is just a $10 parking permit for the day. –Midtown office

Unlike All Other Cultures, Which Are a Product of Our Country

Bimbo: So are you ever going to move back to Europe?
Eurotrash: I was thinking about that a couple of times when I was really, really depressed in LA. American culture is such a product of the country. –Soho

I Blame Woodrow Wilson

Yuppie: I just really hate the Garden State mentality. –West Village

…and never the twain shall meet

Cashier #1: I’m sorry, what kind of drink do you want?
Cashier #2: He said fruit punch. There’s a time to work and a time to think! –Popeye’s, 34th St.

I dunno. Let me think about it.

Hipster Art Guy #1: I’m working conceptually.
Hipster Art Guy #2: Cool. How’s that going? –Chelsea Overheard by: Magpie

Smokers Resist Taking the Long View

Smoking hobo: Hey man, can I get a cigarette?
Smoking man: You're already smoking one.
Smoking hobo: Gotta plan for the future!
Smoking man: Now you wanna plan?

–12th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Jay

Unless, Of Course, They Have the Runs

Vapid girl: It's like how some people go on long runs to train for marathons. I eat cheese to condition my stomach for when I don't eat vegan.
Neighboring diner to girlfriend: The world will a much better place once we start eating people like her.

–Atlas Cafe, 2nd Ave

Or Maybe Uzbekistan

Teenage girl: You know you're from New York when you've never been to the Empire State Building.
Mother, after pause: Oh, yeah…

–Mulberry St

Overheard by: Lindsey