Archive for the ‘Philosophy’ Category

Wanna Buy a Bridge, Wednesday One-Liners?

10-year-old tourist kid: Mom, is Brooklyn famous for its graffiti? –Coney Island-bound D train Overheard by: BB White guy, pointing: Over there in Brooklyn three-year-olds just, like, walk around! –Delancey & Essex Overheard by: Red Hair Guy walking through bar: What’s with Brooklyn and beards? –Union Hall, Park Slope Overheard by: jasonjason Guy: Brooklyn is the middle borough in terms of goodness. –Kosher Delight Thugette to double decker tour bus: Brooklyn! Brooklyn! You’re taking a tour of Brooklyn! I just got out of jail! –Brooklyn Overheard by: Staying on the bus….

Lifestyles of the Wednesday One-Liners and Famous

Rich girl to friend: I couldn’t decide between the Marc Jacobs sweater and the Dior jacket. It was like Sophie’s Choice. –Outside NYU dorm Rich lady on phone: Uh-huh, uh-huh, but what if we just put the tennis court where the house was? … Okay, okay, what if we demolish the existing tennis court and make that area the guest house again? Or create a glassed-in structure over the court instead? –Madison Square Garden Overheard by: mkp-hearts-nyc Man lunching with friend: I mean, I never lost a million dollars before. –55th & 6th Ave Overheard by: ilegal browser Dad to child in stroller, passing the park: What? You wanted to go in there? I thought you said you wanted to go to Marc Jacobs. –Hudston St Overheard by: Colleen 20-ish girl: Fuck my dad. How selfish can you be? If I want to live on West 11th, then fucking buy the flat on West 11th. Ugh. Sorry. Can I get another dirty martini? –The Village WASP lady: She’s not even nouveau riche — she is just nouveau! –A Voce, 26th & Madison

Fordham Girls Often Eat Their Young

Chick: Seriously, surrogate mothers get paid so much money. If I was dirt-poor, I’d totally be one.
Guy: Yeah, but isn’t that a lot of work?
Chick: Well, the way I look at it is it’s like Thanksgiving. The surrogate mother is like an oven, and the baby is like a turkey that’s just sent there for nine months to cook. Some surrogate mothers are like, ‘Whatever, just let it cook ’til it’s done,’ whereas some other surrogate mothers put more effort into it — like they’ll add some gravy… or garlic… Mmm…
Guy: Have you forgotten that we’re talking about babies?! –Cafeteria, Fordham University Overheard by: Sromeo

When You Wednesday Upon a One-Liner, It Makes No Difference Who You Are

Guy walking by himself: I wish everybody who is not mentally ill would just drop dead! –9th St, Park Slope Overheard by: Rear Admiral Butts Guy (admiringly, to attractive girl passing by): Damn, girl, I wish you were a guy! –14th St & 1st Ave Ditzy girl to another, about her boyfriend: He's teaching himself philosophy right now. He bought a philosophy dictionary. He can do that, you know, because he's so smart. I wish I could do that! –Astoria Overheard by: squarehand Young guy to girl: Dude, I wish Dali was still around so he could do my album. –Museum of Modern Art Overheard by: Gino Serious girl: I wish I had gotten the ovaries! –Korean Baptist Church, Astoria Overheard by: Evan

A Woman's Right to Wednesday One-Liners

Angry black woman: Why these motherfuckers always wearing "right for life" buttons, philosophizing and shit? –Dallas BBQ, Brooklyn Heights Overheard by: Mike H Student: Aborting your baby is so boring now. Everyone does it. –Bard High School Early College Drunk loud teenage Latina: Ladies and gentlemen, I am a minority and I have never had an abortion! –N Train Overheard by: g-lime Man on cell: Oh… Oh shit… Well, can't you just take a wire hanger and pull it out? Yeah, just stick the hanger in and pull it right out! Okay? Okay. Bye. –Staten Island Ferry Overheard by: marge Fabulous gay guy: So, my coworkers at Olive Garden all wanted to go out for a picnic one day. Our one friend had to work though, so we told her to tell our boss she needed to go get an abortion and she actually did it! –Life Cafe, Avenue B & 10th St Overheard by: Rachel W.