Woman to toddler: You gotta be nice to Jenny.
Toddler: No!
Woman: No, you gotta be nice to Jenny, even though she's a fat-ass. Jenny is a fat-ass. Haha, fat-ass Jenny!
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Archive for the ‘Physical appearance’ Category
Ah, Story Of My Life!
20 something girl #1: So you ditched his ass.
20 something girl #2: Yeah, well, I told him that I would not date a 36-year-old who comes to work wearing bubblegum pink sneakers riding a long board.
–Downtown E Train
Overheard by: Smoltzy
…Um, I've Heard That Works Really Well.
Teenager #1: Aw, that guy was so cute! He'd better be there when I go return my skates.
Teenager #2: You should find out his number or something.
Teenager #1: Nah, that's too awkward.
Teenager #2: Just ask his name from one of the other workers, and say you wanna report him to the manager… But then really just stalk him on Facebook!
–Ice Skating Rink, Bryant Park
Overheard by: lol
The Subtext Of Every Jersey Shore Episode
Teen girl: Hey, did you see that really hot guy at the pool?
Boyfriend: Yeah, the one with the black hair and the nice body?
Teen girl: Yeah… He was really hot.
Boyfriend: Yeah, I'd fersure tap that.
(long pause)
Boyfriend: I think I might be gay.
–2 Train
Overheard by: bethany
Alex Placed Dead Last at the Insult Olympics.
Preteen boy #1, looking at tiny Yorkie: Wow, that is the smallest thing I've ever seen.
Preteen boy #2: That's what she said.
Preteen boy #1: Yeah, that's what she didn't say about you! I mean, that's what she didn't say to me! That's what she said about you!
–30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: real smooth.
Wednesday One-Liners for Pauly D.
Guido: It just depends where you put your penis.
–South Street Seaport
Guido on cell: Can I get a blowjob with that too? (pause) Mmmm ,yeah. Where are you right now?
–Wagner College
Overheard by: Ferch
Guido: I'm about to go back to Men's Warehouse and be like, "what the fuck?"
–51st St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Puerto Rican girl: That's it! Koreans are like Asian Guidos! Except they don't tan…
–59th & 10th
Overheard by: shawn
And Then There's the Heroin…
Skinny girl: Ohmigod, I should be like a plus-size model!
Skinnier girl: You look great!
Skinny girl: You are sooo skinny! What do you do?
Skinnier girl: I don't eat more than like a thousand calories a day.
–Elevator, MSG Suites
Who's Gonna Tell Him He Can't?
Man #1: Nice beard. You look like Santa!
Man #2, gesturing to his jacket: Santa? Does Santa drive a Harley too?
–72nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Natasha
The Episode Of Sliders That Left Everyone Bored
Short Asian man to tall black man: You play basketball?
Tall black man: You fix computers?
–Starbucks
A Jewish Zabar's Employee?? Say It Ain't So!
Customer to woman behind fish counter: Are you Italian?
Woman behind fish counter: No. I get accused of being Italian a lot. I'm just Jewish.
–Zabar's, Upper West Side
Overheard by: zabarian