Wannabe Player: It is a pleasure to have the honor of being in your company. –Halloween Party, Greenwich Village
Archive for the ‘Pick-up Lines’ Category
Looks Like All of NYC is Talking About It Now…
Don Juan: Sure I got a seven inch dick, but the thing no one ever talks about is I got a seven inch ball sack, too. –Avenue A
I Only Date Action Figures
Where: Time Square Toys R Us
Cashier: May I have your phone number, starting with the area code, please?
Customer: You’re not my type.
Boobs Are Boobs
Guy #1: I talked to the redhead girl.
Guy #2: No, I said to talk to the red sweater girl.
Guy #1: Oh, I thought you said the redhead girl.
Guy #2: Well, what’d she say, anyway?
–The Dublin Harp, UWS
Overheard by: Travis York
“…but hold the cheese!”
Server: Oh no, not you again! Whatchoo want?
Customer: ‘talian col’ cut.
Server: Whatchoo want on it?
Customer: I said ‘talian col’ cut!
Server: Whatchoo want on it?
Customer: Damn baby, I want you on it!
Server: Shit, you wouldn’t even know what to do with me!
Customer: Damn baby, I eat that shit!
–Bed-Stuy deli
An Argument Against Homosexuality
Guy: You are a compelling argument against homosexuality. You are a very pretty girl. –72nd St Station
Unfortunately It’s All Downhill From There…
Guy Clubber: Hey, Shorty!!
Girl Clubber: Ya?
Guy Clubber: I just got to tell you that you have the best forehead I’ve ever seen…but don’t get too cute.
Girl Clubber: Umm…OK?
–Club NV, Soho
Overheard by: Debony Miller
Now Serving: Miss Modular
A DJ who has gotten too big for her britches finishes playing a Rubber Rodeo song.
Indie guy: Great song. So…you’ve got my info?
Miss DJ: Yes. I have your e-mail. We’ll be in touch.
Mr Bartender: If you’re going to be in touch with that boy, can I watch?
–Mondo, Bar 169
Macbeth: Is This Emily I See Before Me, Her Handle Toward My Hand?
Drunk man: What's your name?
Sober woman: Emily.
Drunk man: Can we talk, Emily?
Sober woman: Sorry, I have to go call my boyfriend.
Drunk man, clutching heart: Dagger! Your name should be “dagger.”
–Coming Out of UWS Bar
Overheard by: That's cold
What's Your Sign, Wednesday One-Liner?
Young man to pretty girl with glasses eating hot dog: That hot dog matches your beautiful glasses!
–Hot Dog Stand, 34th St
Overheard by: gothchick
Dude to girls crossing street: Hey, miss ladies! Youse look nice out!
–Ludow & Stanton
Overheard by: M & J
Guy to girl passing by: El sexy-o! I know how to say it in Spanish, I wanna know how to say it in Caucasian!
–14th St & 1st Ave
Crazy guy: Hey, Snow White! Come talk to Black Beauty. Cuz you know vanilla and chocolate make a good fudge, girl.
–W 110th St
Overheard by: Ashley
Bro standing in sidewalk, harassing passing girls: Hello! I've been waiting all my life for you! Hello, where have you been all my life? Hello, I eat pussy. Hello, I've got money. Hello?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Bruce Lee