Queer #1: He’s hot. Wait, he’s hot, too. Fuck! Why is everyone I like so young?
Queer #2: ‘Cause you’re a pig?
–Jane St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Paddy
Archive for the ‘Pickiness’ Category
That’s about As Hot As I Can Take
Young college guy: Tell me about your friend. Is she hot?
Girl: She sings sea shanties and goes to Brown.
Young college guy: I’ll marry her.
–La Mama, ETC
Overheard by: sagacious man
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Male Psychology but Were Afraid to Ask
Crying hot chick: I don’t understand why you spent half the night telling me all the reasons you can’t be with me and then wanted to have sex with me anyway!
Douchebag: Uh, you were pretty… And naked.
–Houston & Allen
I’ll Tell You All about It in Study Hall Tomorrow
Girl: Yeah, so me and Ronnie broke it off.
Guy: Really? Why?
Girl: Well, remember that girl, Nene? Yeah, she was like 14 or something, and he was fucking her.
Guy: And how old is he?
Girl: Twenty-one. You know what? I’m just done dating child molesters — been there, done that.
–R train, 57th St
I Want to Be Loved for Who I Pretend to Be
Chick: One of my compatible matches looked like he must have been captain of his Dungeons and Dragons club back in school, and he said that he recently cut off his hair and donated it to Locks of Love, which is a nice thing to do, but then I had to imagine what he would look like with this horrible ponytail…
Guy: Like a music major ponytail, or, no– an AV Squad?
Chick: Yeah, exactly. So, needless to say, I deleted that match.
Dude with long hair, beret, beard, trench coat, and glasses standing nearby: I’m going home and changing my MySpace page right now.
–4 train
Overheard by: megwal
Nowadays It’s 15 or Bust
Hipster guy: So I called him and he was like, ‘My mom is here!’ and I was like, ‘Can you bring her with you?’
Hipster girl: Yeah, I don’t know… I’m not sure I could do it.
Hipster guy: Really? Yeah, sometimes it’s not worth the trouble. Just something fun to do every once in a while when you’re bored… I mean, the last time I fucked a 16-year-old was when I was… twenty-two?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jordan
Gets All Her Metaphors from Lennie Briscoe
Chick #1: He was being all flirty and nice and asked me to meet him out dancing.
Chick #2: He is so cute. What did you say?
Chick #1: Hell no. He’s married. I heard that and ran like a hooker from the cops…
–A train
Overheard by: Jim W.
Wednesday One-Liners Took “For Poorer” Out of Their Vows
Gold digger to friend: Yeah, I’m done with doctors. I want an architect.
–E 80th St
Overheard by: hannah g
Annoyed JAP: So, he told me that I would date my way out of the Upper East Side.
–Ladies’ room, Johnny’s Uptown
Overheard by: Grover
Patient to receptionist: She no-showed on me, too, but I didn’t like her anyway because she has Alzheimer’s, and she’s a gold digger.
–Dentist’s office
JAP: I mean, I was raised never thinking I would ever have to take care of myself.
–Penn Station
Chick: I mean, he’s, like, a little unstable. He just seems a little wired, but he works for a hedge fund, so…
–77th & 3rd
How Many?
Black girl #1: I feel like getting laid.
Black girl #2: You and me, both.
Black girl #1: I think I’m into white guys tonight!
–4 train, Union Square
Overheard by: newyork2boston
I Just Won’t Date a Girl Who Smells Worse Than Me
Chick: Are you sure you’re not gay?
Hipster dude: Yes.
Chick: But you’re so picky and shallow about girls.
Hipster dude: No, I’m not.
Chick: You said you wouldn’t date Kelsey because she has dirt under her nails.
Hipster dude: Well, yeah!
Chick: See?
Hipster dude: No.
–NYU