Man sunbather: He’s like 6’6″, very attractive…
Woman sunbather: So does he, like, spontaneously vomit…?
Man sunbather: Let’s just say he’s not the smoothest…
–Turtle Pond, Central Park
Overheard by: Not jumping to date this attractive man.
Archive for the ‘Pickiness’ Category
When I Finally Have Sex, I’d Like It to Be with a Woman Who’s All Three
Chick: So, explain the difference to me.
Guy: ‘Cute’ is, like, the girl next door, ‘hot’ is, like, ‘I want to take her home right now!’ and ‘beautiful’ is, like, classic.
Chick: So, can a woman be all three?
Guy: In very rare situations…
–7th St, between 1st & 2nd Ave
Great for Enticing Men with Little Debbie Complexes
Aspiring actress: I hope I get the part! That director was so hot! I could totally sleep with him!
Friend: He’s your dad’s age.
Aspiring actress: No! He’s 41. My dad’s 43.
Friend: You’re 20.
Aspiring actress: Yeah. That’s sort of sick. I have to stop liking older guys. What can I say? I’m just looking for a more mature man! Hey, I got this new moisturizer that smells like cookies, and it’s sparkly! Smell my leg!
–2 train, between 42nd & 72nd
I Can Never Tell When You’re Being Sarcastic
Girl: Why don’t you just make a list of all the girls you want to fuck and their qualities for me, so I can take notes?
Boy: … Like, bullet points, or can I use full sentences?
–Brooklyn-bound L train
Overheard by: Jesse
I Gave Him My Best Parker Posey Lip Curl and Left the Train
Snooty alternative chick: So, for some reason I always get these creepy guys talking to me on the train. This one guy on the ride over here looked over at my iPod and I was listening to The Fall, right? And he’s like, ‘That’s an interesting song. It’s like punk, right?’ And so then he pulls out his iPod and starts trying to impress me with his shitty music list.
Alternative guy: What was on it?
Snooty alternative chick: Blink 182 and Good Charlotte and stuff… And it’s like, ‘Um, you’re a guy on the N train who started talking to me, you’re not gonna get in my pants… And you’re especially not gonna get in my pants if you don’t know who The Fall are! That’s totally a prerequisite.’
–Kim’s Video, St. Mark’s Pl
I Need to Get Me Some of That Time-Travel Pussy
Grocery stock boy #1: Man, I need to get me some foreign pussy. Out of town, out of state, out of country — shit, I just want to see what it’s like.
Grocery stock boy #2: Word.
–E 79th & York
Overheard by: PBT
Geez, Let’s Get You Drunk, Then
Girl: I want to fuck you when I’m drunk.
Guy: I just want to fuck you.
Girl: I just want you to be taller.
–Astoria Beer Garden
Not Even the Worst Date He’s Had This Week
Annoying girl on first date: Now, I don’t wear a lot of jewelry, so my engagement ring will really have to be spectacular.
Dazed guy: [Silence.]
Annoying girl: And I’ve decided that I’ve got to have a destination wedding.
–Seafood restaurant, 77th & 3rd
Probably Quite a Story behind That Observation
Dude #1: My girlfriend is allergic to gluten.
Dude #2: Having a girlfriend with a food allergy is worse than having a girlfriend with a dick!
–11th St & Ave B
Much Funnier That Way, We Think
Man: I don’t like women. I like little boys.
Lady: Um, that’s the only line of that conversation I heard…
–McSorley’s