Archive for the ‘Pickiness’ Category

… When It Comes to Peristalsis

Man sunbather: He’s like 6’6″, very attractive…
Woman sunbather: So does he, like, spontaneously vomit…?
Man sunbather: Let’s just say he’s not the smoothest…

–Turtle Pond, Central Park

Overheard by: Not jumping to date this attractive man.

Great for Enticing Men with Little Debbie Complexes

Aspiring actress: I hope I get the part! That director was so hot! I could totally sleep with him!
Friend: He’s your dad’s age.
Aspiring actress: No! He’s 41. My dad’s 43.
Friend: You’re 20.
Aspiring actress: Yeah. That’s sort of sick. I have to stop liking older guys. What can I say? I’m just looking for a more mature man! Hey, I got this new moisturizer that smells like cookies, and it’s sparkly! Smell my leg!

–2 train, between 42nd & 72nd

I Gave Him My Best Parker Posey Lip Curl and Left the Train

Snooty alternative chick: So, for some reason I always get these creepy guys talking to me on the train. This one guy on the ride over here looked over at my iPod and I was listening to The Fall, right? And he’s like, ‘That’s an interesting song. It’s like punk, right?’ And so then he pulls out his iPod and starts trying to impress me with his shitty music list.
Alternative guy: What was on it?
Snooty alternative chick: Blink 182 and Good Charlotte and stuff… And it’s like, ‘Um, you’re a guy on the N train who started talking to me, you’re not gonna get in my pants… And you’re especially not gonna get in my pants if you don’t know who The Fall are! That’s totally a prerequisite.’

–Kim’s Video, St. Mark’s Pl