Archive for the ‘Pickiness’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Took “For Poorer” Out of Their Vows

Gold digger to friend: Yeah, I’m done with doctors. I want an architect.

–E 80th St

Overheard by: hannah g

Annoyed JAP: So, he told me that I would date my way out of the Upper East Side.

–Ladies’ room, Johnny’s Uptown

Overheard by: Grover

Patient to receptionist: She no-showed on me, too, but I didn’t like her anyway because she has Alzheimer’s, and she’s a gold digger.

–Dentist’s office

JAP: I mean, I was raised never thinking I would ever have to take care of myself.

–Penn Station

Chick: I mean, he’s, like, a little unstable. He just seems a little wired, but he works for a hedge fund, so…

–77th & 3rd

How Many?

Black girl #1: I feel like getting laid.
Black girl #2: You and me, both.
Black girl #1: I think I’m into white guys tonight!

–4 train, Union Square

Overheard by: newyork2boston

I Just Won’t Date a Girl Who Smells Worse Than Me

Chick: Are you sure you’re not gay?
Hipster dude: Yes.
Chick: But you’re so picky and shallow about girls.
Hipster dude: No, I’m not.
Chick: You said you wouldn’t date Kelsey because she has dirt under her nails.
Hipster dude: Well, yeah!
Chick: See?
Hipster dude: No.

–NYU

… When It Comes to Peristalsis

Man sunbather: He’s like 6’6″, very attractive…
Woman sunbather: So does he, like, spontaneously vomit…?
Man sunbather: Let’s just say he’s not the smoothest…

–Turtle Pond, Central Park

Overheard by: Not jumping to date this attractive man.

I Gave Him My Best Parker Posey Lip Curl and Left the Train

Snooty alternative chick: So, for some reason I always get these creepy guys talking to me on the train. This one guy on the ride over here looked over at my iPod and I was listening to The Fall, right? And he’s like, ‘That’s an interesting song. It’s like punk, right?’ And so then he pulls out his iPod and starts trying to impress me with his shitty music list.
Alternative guy: What was on it?
Snooty alternative chick: Blink 182 and Good Charlotte and stuff… And it’s like, ‘Um, you’re a guy on the N train who started talking to me, you’re not gonna get in my pants… And you’re especially not gonna get in my pants if you don’t know who The Fall are! That’s totally a prerequisite.’

–Kim’s Video, St. Mark’s Pl