Archive for the ‘Pickiness’ Category

Cosmo Quiz Says No Go

Tall girl smoking cigarette on the sidewalk: You’re not my type. Short guying selling CDs on the sidewalk: What do you mean? Tall girl: First of all, you’re short. Second of all, you’re selling CDs on the sidewalk. –6th Ave & 12th St

The Bitch of Brooklynwald

Chick #1: Is that the guy you were with last weekend?
Chick #2: Keep your voice down. And please don’t remind me.
Chick #1: Why? He’s not bad.
Chick #2: He’s not even law school hot. I’ve so had to lower my standards for this group.
Chick #1: I’ve just started going out with Jewish guys.
Chick #2: Ugh. Please. We’re only here for another year and a half…I can hold out. –Brooklyn Heights Overheard by: iiams

Let’s Find a Frontier for Her to Settle On

Man: I mean, the fact is, it’s going to be very hard for you to find someone who fulfills your specific needs.
Woman: Yeah, I know.
Man: I mean, what you’re looking for, it’s like beyond brains. You want a man who understands auras and energy. I mean, face it, there’s not another guy on this whole car who gets that.
Woman: Mm-hmm.
Man: You know, you’re a good candidate for just settling. –G train

Is It Going to Work Out with Wednesday One-liners?

Woman on cell: Yeah, he told me the next day that he cried himself to sleep. I got so mad. I was like, “I don’t wanna hear that shit!” –Target, Atlantic Avenue Overheard by: alex Chick: Is it really cheating if it only happened once? –26th & Lexington Guy on cell: Look, I’m driving so I can’t talk right now, ok? Good-bye…Fucking bitch, never leaves me alone. –Burger King, Union Turnpike Overheard by: Megan Cowles Girl: So are we breakin’ up or what? It’s getting late! –59th & Lexington Overheard by: Mike

Wednesday One-liners Are the Chosen People

Player: Girl, your nose is like a Seinfeld episode. –The Gate, Park Slope A hobo sits with a HUNGRY JEW sign and begs: Lox, bagels, cream cheese? Lox, bagels, cream cheese? –Broadway & 80th Producer: Is Purim the holiday where they dress up? There was this little girl with an eyepatch and I was like, “Arr, you’re a pirate?” and her mom was like, “Actually, she had her eye put out.” –27th street office JAP on cell: I give up. I have been posting personal ads looking for “tall, dark and handsome” and all I ever end up with is “short, hairy, Jewish”. I guess I should just accept my fate. –Starbucks, 48th & 3rd Black guy: I ain’t Jewish, so I don’t be doin’ no Yom Kippur. –D train Overheard by: Nash Astor

I’ll Take One of Those Fake Ones, Please

Girl #1: So we’re in bed, fooling around, and he goes, “Does it feel good when I rub your G-spot?” And I go, “I’ll let you know.”
Girl #2: Ooh, that’s so mean!
Girl #1: Please. I’ll fake a clitoral orgasm for anyone. But I draw the line at faking a G-spot orgasm. No man’s self-esteem is that important to me. –19th & Park