Man: 40 is the new 30; my teacher said that. She said 12 is the new 11. But she used to say 11 was the new 10. –St. Mark’s Place
Woman #1: I’m ready for ugly, if it keeps me warm in bed.
Woman #2: I don’t know about that. –UES Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Girl: Later at night, my tongue gets sore because I’ve been playing with it so much. –St. Mark’s Place
Two boys were playing on a fire escape. Boy #1: Okay. Now I’ll be the policeman, and you be the fireworks on Coney Island. –Windsor Terrace
Drunk: You are here all the time! How are you here all the time? I come in at 2PM, you’re here. I come in at 5PM, you’re here. You are always here! When do you sleep?
Cashier: I am a twin. –Park Slope bodega, 5AM
Lady: Excuse me sir, can I bum a ciga…oh, you’re smoking a joint. –3rd Ave. & 12th Street Overheard by: David H
Guy: I’ve been to Germany twice because I have a friend who’s from there. I went to Oktoberfest, but it was in June.
Hans: They had Oktoberfest in June? It must have been just for you…American tourists. –25th St. & 3rd Ave.
A tourist woman examines Dali’s masterpiece and comments: Oh hey, this is supposed to be famous, but I can’t remember why. –MoMA Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Hip Hop Guy on cell: I’ll just keep my nuts shaved and everything’ll be fine. –Varick Street Coffee guy on phone: I’m not talking about whacking off, I’m talking about fried chicken! –Alt.coffee, Avenue A Overheard by: Dibson Hoffweiler
Man #1: Aren’t you freezing?
Man #2: Not really. Ever since I got hit by lightning I don’t really feel the cold.
Man #1: Ah. OK, so anyway… –Lafayette St. & Astor Place