Guy, to girl: Smart girls are never pretty. That’s why you’re a dumbass. –Union Turnpike station platform Overheard by: Erna Hobo: Ain’t no good here, only cheap. Cheap, cheap, and very cheap. And very beautiful. –L train, Bedford Ave station
Hobo: Spare some change?…Why are you so selfish?
Man: Why are you so poor? –West 4th Street & 6th Avenue Overheard by: David B.
Fat lady: Do you understand English?
Guy: I do and you sound like an asshole. –7 train
Hipster girl: Gosh, I’m like Pavlov’s dog!
Guy: What the hell is that?
Hipster girl: You don’t know? They teach it in, like, every science class ever!
Guy: So, what is it?
Hipster girl: It has something to do with bells and drool, I’m not really sure. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Tres Chic
Preppy guy #1: I hate geese shit on fields.
Preppy guy #2: It’s not so bad. It’s a good lubricant for when you slide-tackle people. You know, you just keep sliding…
Preppy guy #3: Dude, I can’t remember the last time I jerked off using geese shit. It can’t be that good a lubricant! –Central Park
Girl: What are you eating?
Guy: I don’t know, I was just like, “Put whatever you want on bread.” –Columbia University Overheard by: helena vozhd
Woman, talking about the Italian feast in Williamsburg: And they have games and rides and food. And at the end of the week they get strong men together to carry the statue.
Tourist: The Statue of Liberty? –Williamsburg Overheard by: just the driver
Girl: Man, this old dyke is digging on me, but I want some penis
these days. –3rd between B & C Guy: Man, old pussy is the best! She has 50 years of dick sucking experience. –124th & Manhattan Overheard by: Jason Steinhauer Queer on cell: Ever since I lost my hair I’ve had 20 year olds chasing me around like I’m an ice cream cone. –LIRR Overheard by: Squatporpoise Girl: Oh yeah, that guy you saw me with Sunday? He lets me watch him have sex with boys. –NYU School of social work Overheard by: Maggie
Guy: I’m so horny, I would fuck a mule…but only if it gave me head first. –7 train Overheard by: Ron Jackson
Thug #1: Kelly Bundy’s dancing on Broadway.
Thug #2: She naked?
Thug #1: She broke both her legs. I think she in a wheelchair.
Thug #2: She naked?
Thug #1: I bet she dance good. She hot.
Thug #2: I’d break her clit if I had the chance. –F train Girl: If I hear another show tune out of context I think I’m going to vomit. Physically vomit. You know that feeling?
Guy: Uh, no. –42nd between 9th & 10th