Man: 40 is the new 30; my teacher said that. She said 12 is the new 11. But she used to say 11 was the new 10. –St. Mark’s Place
Woman #1: I’m ready for ugly, if it keeps me warm in bed.
Woman #2: I don’t know about that. –UES Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Girl: Later at night, my tongue gets sore because I’ve been playing with it so much. –St. Mark’s Place
Two boys were playing on a fire escape. Boy #1: Okay. Now I’ll be the policeman, and you be the fireworks on Coney Island. –Windsor Terrace
Guy: You need a new mattress? Why not call 1-800-M-A-T-T-R-E-S?
Girl: Ha, ha! Nah.
Guy: Then there’s gotta be some local places. You should be able to get a mattress for $100. –40th & 7th
Young woman: You need to get a car so you can take my kitty cat to the vet. –Starbucks, 71st & Broadway Overheard by: Zvi Mowshowitz
Daughter: You’re always humming that McDonalds song.
Daughter: You know…”da da da da da I’m loooovin’ it.”
Mother: No, honey. Goldfinger. *Ba ra ba rum*
Daughter: Oh. –Central Park
Woman: Something got stuck in my sinuses, then it went down my spine and had a party. –BBQ, UWS
A woman has a chihuahua in her purse. An old man enters the train.
Old man: Cute dog. Do you take him everywhere?
Woman: Uh huh. We saw Spider-man yesterday.
Old man: You saw Spider-man yesterday?
Old man: How did you like it?
Woman: Oh, you know. It is what it is.
Old man: Not that great, huh? Ha, ha. Well, take care. The man leaves the train. The woman looks down at her dog. Woman: That was weird. –V Train
Man (to hipstress): You should get a tattoo of Ben Franklin. –22nd & Park Ave South Overheard by: Matt Law