Two boys were playing on a fire escape. Boy #1: Okay. Now I’ll be the policeman, and you be the fireworks on Coney Island. –Windsor Terrace
Woman #1: My principal says you can get French lessons as an iPod.
Woman #2: An “iPod”?
Woman #1: Yeah…they’re about 15 minutes long, they come on your computer, and they’re free.
Woman #2: Hmm.
Woman #1: Wait, I mean a podcast.
Woman #2: “Podcast”? Sounds like it comes from aliens. –Patisserie Claude, West 4th Street Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Guy: What flavor should I get?
Drunk girl: I’d get butter pecan but I’m lactose intolerant and it’d make me shit like a champ. –Bodega, Houston & 6th
Girl #1: She said to meet her in front of some type of iron building.
Girl #2: What’s that?
Girl #1: I don’t know. Some building made out of iron. What’s that building made out of? –23rd & Broadway
Teen girl on cell: …you just gotta sit him down and say we’re both pregnant by him and we wanna know if we can get along! –Canal Street JHS boy: Let’s make like a fetus and head out. –Broadway & Washington Place Drunk girl: How could I be pregnant? I like women! –Times Square Thug on cell: Nigga, how you been? Shit, I had five kids since I last seen you! –Elizabeth & Prince Guy on cell: Do we have to wash you and shave you and put a diaper on you before tonight? –Penn Station Overheard by: djlindee
Lady: You’re making me wet… I SAID you’re making me wet.
Man: Yes, I tend to have that effect on the ladies.
Lady: With your umbrella.
Man: I’m flattered, but it’s not that big.
Overheard by: Sloane
Two male twins, dressed alike, in their 20s, address two female twins, dressed alike, in their 20s.
Male twins: Hey! Are you twins?! You twins?! That’s great! We’re twins too! Hey, we’re twins too!
Female twins: Mmmhmm.
Male twins: You ain’t twins! You lesbians! She look like she wanna get it on with you! You ain’t twins! Hey, I’m just tryin’ ‘a help ya out! You ain’t twins.
Female twins: [silence]
Male twins: I’m just tryin’ a help you out! I have your best interest in mind! You ain’t twins! Look! That one’s that one’s mother!
Female twins: We’re twins. We are the same age.
Male twins: Then how come that one so much older than the other? You ain’t twins! We twins! That’s why we so tall! We the twin towers! Female twins flee train. –F train
Woman: He’s so horny he’d fuck a venetian blind. –Starbucks, UES
Conductor: This is 33rd Street, please remember to take all personal belongings off with you, and let me be the first to wish you a merry Christmas! –PATH train Overheard by: elise n
Chick #1: Is that George W. Bush?
Chick #2: Really? Where?
Chick #1: Oh no, wait. It’s Mayor Bloomberg.
Chick #2: I was gonna say, that would be a step up for him! –Nederlander Theatre, W41st Overheard by: Dani B