Lady: Excuse me sir, can I bum a ciga…oh, you’re smoking a joint. –3rd Ave. & 12th Street Overheard by: David H
Archive for the ‘Places’ Category
“Then we had New Year’s in March.”
Guy: I’ve been to Germany twice because I have a friend who’s from there. I went to Oktoberfest, but it was in June.
Hans: They had Oktoberfest in June? It must have been just for you…American tourists.
–25th St. & 3rd Ave.
The Persistence of Irony
A tourist woman examines Dali’s masterpiece and comments: Oh hey, this is supposed to be famous, but I can’t remember why. –MoMA Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Seminal Wednesday One-liners
Hip Hop Guy on cell: I’ll just keep my nuts shaved and everything’ll be fine. –Varick Street Coffee guy on phone: I’m not talking about whacking off, I’m talking about fried chicken! –Alt.coffee, Avenue A Overheard by: Dibson Hoffweiler
You Always Bring It Back to You, Electro
Man #1: Aren’t you freezing?
Man #2: Not really. Ever since I got hit by lightning I don’t really feel the cold.
Man #1: Ah. OK, so anyway…
–Lafayette St. & Astor Place
Wednesday One-liners
Drunk Guy: That girl’s tits are huge! And it’s snowing! –Fordham A man on a tandem bicycle turns to the woman on it and says: You know, it’s remarkable just how much like weddings funerals actually are. –Varick Street Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz
It’s All Greek to Me
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee.
–Midtown office
But They’ll Never Spread For You
Guy: Lady, you got great legs.
Lady: I’m a lesbian!
Guy: Okay, you’re a lesbian who got great legs.
Lady: Oh…well, thanks.
–57th & Park
Overheard by: Heather
Other Side Effects Include Dizziness, Upset Stomach…
Hipster: I went to a Polish beauty pageant last night in Brooklyn. It totally blew my brains apart. –Williamsburg
New Yorkers: Sticking Together
A cashier hands a girl her change. Girl: Excuse me, but can you give me another 20 dollar bill? This one looks counterfeit. The cashier takes the bill, examines it, and puts it back in the register. He gives her another bill. Girl: Thanks. I just didn’t want that one, you know? It didn’t have the stripe down it. It looked too new. It just didn’t look right. So don’t give it to me; just give it to the guy behind me or something. –Bagel Maven, 7th Avenue