Archive for the ‘Plastic Surgery’ Category

Drunk, Or Still Emerging from the Anesthesia?

Conductor: May I see your ticket, please?
Drunk tranny: I already showed my ticket.
Conductor: Yes, but you haven’t showed it to me.
Drunk tranny: What the fuck? I already showed my damn ticket.
Conductor: OK, calm down. Just show me your ticket, please… I’ll come back for it to give you a minute to find it.
Drunk tranny: You are probably a leather queen. I pay $16,000 for a cunt and this is the disrespect I get. I am fucking changing cars. –Long Beach bound LIRR

Beauty is Only Deep Skin

Woman, 50s: “You look so rested, so refreshed. Have you lost weight?” That’s what you want them to say. Not, “you look like you’ve had 3 inches of skin on your face tightened.”
Friend, 50s: Did you go back to work right after?
Woman, 50s: Not right after. Because of the bruising. But it’s New York. I could have 2 heads and no one would notice. –Ollie’s, UWS Overheard by: TG

Meet the People in Charge Of Programming for Fox

Hobo #1: Yesterday was about embarrassing questions, like “what is a fart?”, or “what is a belch?” Or “why does my pussy stink?” Or “what is plastic surgery?” And they show portions of plastic surgery. And it's a program that I really connected to… It has the highest ratings. I'm up at six o'clock, walking my cats, waking my ass up.
Hobo #2: Yeah, I watch that show too…
Hobo #1 interrupting: No, that's not the same that some acting tv dramas. This 'bout real shit, it's about real questions and real answers. Most people don't even know what their bodies look like. But they got psychologists, they got surgeons… –Downtown 1 Train Overheard by: typing it all into my blackberry as fast as I could

Scalpel….Scissors….Wednesday One-Liners…

Big black crossdresser: Oh honey, I know that no amount of surgery is going to make me a diva! –3 Train Overheard by: Kailee McMahon Mother to small daughter: Honey, don't forget to wash your hands. (girl scrubs hands for a long time) Honey, you aren't getting ready to perform surgery. Hurry up. –Women's Bathroom, The Met Man: He had to have his top hat surgically removed. –Union Square Overheard by: Kevin Intern: Latex gloves are for killing people, surgery and dying your hair. –1501 Broadway Overheard by: Randi Loud woman on phone: Yeah, he got his tubes clipped this weekend. He's been fixed! Oh, but don't tell anyone, he doesn't want anybody to know. –Dunkin Donuts Girl on cell: How did teaching go? How was the surgery? Did human skin taste good? –Columbia University Overheard by: The Poogtastic One

That's Just Your Conscience Dying

Ingenue: She looks good for her age.
Jaded older woman: Botox and lifts.
Ingenue: At least her hair is natural.
Jaded older woman: You kidding? She dyes every week.
Ingenue: Her teeth.
Jaded older woman: Please.
Ingenue: Why do I feel guilty just talking to you? –Front & Wall Streets Overheard by: Feeling Guilty for Just Listening

Wednesday One-Liners with Botched Cosmetic Surgery

Lady suit: What are you gonna do about it? What are you going to do about the post-modernism on my forehead? –Starbucks, The Villiage Girl on cell: No, no… I don’t think you understand — my hips are two different sizes! You don’t know what this is going to do to my self-esteem. –Columbia University Overheard by: i should have gone to harvard Chick on cell: … Yes, it’s coming out of my abdomen… –Washington Square South Overheard by: Tyler Wifey to hubby, looking at statue: They got the knees just right! You know how I’ve been looking at my knees a lot? –The Met Overheard by: sweetchuck Skinny tween boriqua: Yo, I’m gonna take all the fat from my stomach and put it on my ass. –231st & Broadway Overheard by: KK Hot chick: Well, you don’t have arm testicles. –East Houston St, near BHSEC MTA lady to another: She got a lot o’ heart for a pussy! –4/5/6 train underpass, 59th St