Archive for the ‘Plastic Surgery’ Category

Drunk, Or Still Emerging from the Anesthesia?

Conductor: May I see your ticket, please?
Drunk tranny: I already showed my ticket.
Conductor: Yes, but you haven’t showed it to me.
Drunk tranny: What the fuck? I already showed my damn ticket.
Conductor: OK, calm down. Just show me your ticket, please… I’ll come back for it to give you a minute to find it.
Drunk tranny: You are probably a leather queen. I pay $16,000 for a cunt and this is the disrespect I get. I am fucking changing cars.

–Long Beach bound LIRR

Enormous Changes for Wednesday One-liners

Woman: I would bedazzle the shit out of that shirt. –53rd & 9th Girl: So, he said he was thinking about getting LASIK, and I told him that if he wants to have surgery he has to start with a nosejob. –Times Square Man on cell: Yeah man, I promised for her birthday I’d take her to the best doctor in town. She really needs to have this done. Where did you take yours when she had fleas? –57th & Broadway Girl on cell: Oh, I don’t know, the last time I saw you your lips didn’t look that overinflated. –Washington Square dog run Overheard by: boswell