Woman on cell: Well, we have a large problem — his thing is very small… –Outside Papaya Dog, W 4th Overheard by: notrob Professor: So, you have all seen large penises and small penises, but you never see a fatty penis! [Class laughs.] Is that a ‘Yes, that is true’ laugh, or what? –Columbia University Med Center Female theater-goer: His penis would have been normal-sized if he was five-foot-six. As it was, everything was out of proportion. –Golden Theater Overheard by: Colleen Drunk man with imaginary cup: Excuse me, sorry for doing this — I’m not shy, I just have a small penis, and I’d really appreciate some money for a penis enlargement surgery. And if not money, then a sandwich. A BLT or a larger cock. Thank you. I just want a larger cock. –2 train Overheard by: Man with the big penis
Girl: I heard on CNN today that this woman in France just received the first successful face transplant after she was mauled by her Labrador. They replaced like her whole nose and lips and chin or something.
Girl: I know!
Guy: I mean, I thought Labradors were, like, really friendly. –19th & 8th Overheard by: Lara P
Woman: I would bedazzle the shit out of that shirt. –53rd & 9th Girl: So, he said he was thinking about getting LASIK, and I told him that if he wants to have surgery he has to start with a nosejob. –Times Square Man on cell: Yeah man, I promised for her birthday I’d take her to the best doctor in town. She really needs to have this done. Where did you take yours when she had fleas? –57th & Broadway Girl on cell: Oh, I don’t know, the last time I saw you your lips didn’t look that overinflated. –Washington Square dog run Overheard by: boswell
Yuppie #1: She had a great rack.
Yuppie #2: Couldn’t have been real.
Yuppie #1: Yeah, no way.
Yuppie #2: So you’re a rack guy, huh?
Yuppie #1: Nah, I’m an ass. –18th & 5th Overheard by: Debl Way
Girl #1: I asked for liposuction for graduation.
Girl #2: Where?
Girl #1: In my ass.
Girl #2: Did you get it?
Girl #1: No. But I’m happy with the car. –The Equitable Building, Broadway & Pine Overheard by: Fletch