Archive for the ‘Players’ Category

He Never Did Figure Out Why the Blue Wouldn’t Come Off

Teen guy on cell: Yeah, we should catch a movie. I gotta wash my balls first, though… No, that’s fine. We can go to a party, but I gotta wash my balls. –Manhattan bound N train Overheard by: Caryn
Headline by: Dustin
Runners-Up:
· “‘Cuz When I Party, I Go Balls Out!” – MYRock
· “…Just in Case There’s a Sack Race” – Rob
· “Can You Assist Me With the Blow Drying Process?” – Bored Beyond Belief
· “Cleanliness Is Next to the Perineum” – brazos
· “Fratboy Etiquette, in a Nutshell” – Hellespont
· “He Started Playing Billiards Just For the Double Entendres.” – j
· “How to Spot a Dedicated Golfer” – TJ
· “I Hate to Tell Him, But Crabs Isn’t Something You Can Just Wash Off…” – J.B.
· “In Case It’s a Boston Teabag Party” – slappy
· “OCDeez Nuts” – Courtney
· “Or Get a Dog and Some Peanut Butter” – Corydon

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Blame the Dawson’s Creek Song

Suit: My friends told me that you told them that I’d hijacked you. We’ve only dated for a week. For so many reasons it’s not going to work out.
Girl: I don’t understand how someone can just say it’s not going to work out. You know everything about me: my family, my life, all about me. I shared everything this week. I would have held back if I’d known.
Suit: …It’s like I have sticker shock…You are just a much more fun, engaged person than me.
Girl: I don’t understand someone who can just say it’s not going to work out. How can you just say it’s not going to work out?
Suit: Can’t we be friends? That’s why I asked you to meet me here.
Girl: Well, at least we slept together this week. I never wait. I’m so glad we didn’t wait. –Esashi, Avenue A

She’s the Cob, and They’re the Cornholders

Girl: There’s a Duane Reade.
Guy #1: What do we need a Duane Reade for?
Girl: If we’re gonna do this, you guys both have to be wearing condoms. –84th & Broadway Suit #1: But what happens if our cocks accidentally touch?
Suit #2: Well…we’re both adults, we’ll just have to deal with it. –52nd & Lexington