Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category

New York’s Only Republican

Woman: Did you just watch the Presidential debate?
Man: Yes, we did.
Woman: Are you Kerry supporters?
Man: No, of course not. Kerry is the worst presidential candidate in the last 50 years and he would be the worst president ever.
Woman: Oh, do you want to come to Good Morning America tomorrow and stand outside, waving Kerry signs?
Man: I was being entirely serious. I hate Kerry. The woman looks at him, unbelieving, and walks away in silence. –Outside the San Marcos bar, East Village

It’s A World Of Laughter, A World Of Tears

Thirtysomething woman: You used to go to Disney World too? I LOVED that place.

Thirtysomething man: Yeah…What was the name of the part with the big carousel? You know, something Square…it was like the center of the park.

Thirtysomething woman: I don’t know…

Thirtysomething man: Tiananmen Square? Was that it?

Thirtysomething woman: Yeah! That sounds familiar..
–R train Headline by: Pam
Runners-Up:

· “Match.com really does work!” – katie andrews

· “Even less fun than Euro Disney” – MattyQ





Honorable Mentions:

· “Little known fact: Mao Zedong had a season pass” – Colleen Kerney

· “Where the rides are worse then the lines” – Mark Manne

· “Yeah, that part was a riot” – Skepna

· “No, No, Universal is NEXT DOOR” – Katie

· “He looked it up on google.cn” – Ingwall

· “And people were dying to get in” – Melanie Mahoney

· “Mickey Mao’s Club” – Dave Barnette

Click here to see the new Headline Contest


Today’s headline contest is being sponsored by HBO. The winner and runners-up* will all receive the complete Season 2 DVDs of Entourage.
Check out the season 3 premiere this Sunday, June 11th at 10pm!




(* Amended so that we could include more honorable mentions!)

Please Silence Your Phone During the Wednesday One-Liners

Preppy girl: I really loved that movie. I thought it was titillating… And not just because there was cock and balls. I don’t care about that.

–Third Avenue

Guy to self: Brokeback mountain… Starring Hillary Clinton!

–Herald Square Subway Station

Overheard by: Worst Movie Ever

Doofette: I mean like I know it got the Oscar and all, but I thought "No Country for Old Men" was pretty boring. I have to admit though the choreography was amazing.

–SoHo

Thug, peddling pile of DVDs: Ghetto Blockbuster! I am your ghetto Blockbuster! I got movies, CDs, porno. [Another group of customers walks in.] I got that action, comedy, romance and I got that pussy! I am your friendly neighborhood ghetto Blockbuster.

–24 Hour McDonalds, Water & Moore

Overheard by: BigKahuna&BigRed

Creepy hipster: You’d think you can’t have sex to "Silence of the Lambs"…

–Huron St, Greenpoint

Overheard by: sweetchuck

Dude on cell: If you like murder, you’re gonna love this movie!

–48 Bus

There's Always a High Fence Between Generations

20-something guy: That new Arizona law is messed-up, man. They are gonna have to…
60-something guy, interrupting: The law is right, they gotta get those Mexicans before they kill us.
20-something guy: What!?
60-something guy: I don't know what Obama is waiting for. They need to make Mexico a state.
20-something guy: Do you even know what your saying?
60-something guy: You're still young. I speak the truth.

–73rd St & Broadway

Still More Insightful than Ann Coulter

Teenage girl #1: Yo I heard they have, like, a…circle, and they think it’s art.
Teenage girl #2: Shit’s retarded. –in front of MoMA, W. 53rd Street Overheard by: David Last Fat guy: Yeah, this O’Connor thing is really big. Most people don’t know this, but the Supreme Court has the final say over all laws that are passed. I think they approve it before even the President does. Like I said, it’s big. –Florent, Gansevoort Street Overheard by: Hampton Catlin

Said the Grasshopper to the Ant

Guy with clipboard: Hey there! Do you have a minute for gay rights?
Gay dude: Every minute of my life is for gay rights.
Guy with clipboard: Are you aware that there are people in Washington trying to take your rights away?
Gay dude: No shit! That's not news! Leave me alone!

–16th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: mille shayntwright