Super: Toilet’s fixed. Sorry I was so gruff before, but my hands were full of shit. –Ave A
Teen girl: Whenever I like a guy I get diarrhea. –8th Ave. & 16th St. Overheard by: Kevin Allan
Mother: When you go into the stall do not sit down on that toilet seat!
Girl: OK, Mommy. Mother closes the door and goes into the next stall. Girl: Mommy?
Girl: I’m sittin’ all over this toilet!
Mother: Girl, I told you not to sit on that toilet! –Wendy’s ladies room, W. 34th and 8th Ave
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee. –Midtown office
Cum slut: I thought the spermicide would take the sperm away. But it stayed in there and just got itchy. And burns. –Ginger, Ave. A Overheard by: Tibbie X
Tough-looking guy to tough-looking friend: Manhattan is all about shitpiles. – Manhattan
Woman on cell: I think they put onions in my sandwich. I’m running home now, let me call you when I get off the toilet. –Park Slope Overheard by: Anne C.
Hispanic nanny: And you know how I have to make poo?
Excited toddler: Yeah!
–1st Ave & E Houston
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Six-year-old boy #1: Poop fart! Poop fart poop fart poop fart. Poop fart!
Six-year-old boy #2: Okay, you win.
–112th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Samantha
Mom #1, about sniffly kid: Don't worry, my kid's not sick. He's just sad.
Mom #2, to kid: Aw, why are you sad?
Kid to mom #2: Because my poopie won't come out.
Mom #2 to kid: Don't worry, I get sad too when my poopie doesn't come out.
Mom #1 to kid: See, I told you it happens to everyone.
–79th St & West End