Archive for the ‘Pop Culture’ Category

New York's Finest Wednesday One-Liners

Black kid after seeing white girl in gym clothes run by: Man, for a second I thought that white girl was running from the cops too!

–Fordham Road, The Bronx

Overheard by: run, white girl, run

Middle-aged black lady yelling on crowded train: Young black men stand the fuck up! Kill the NYPD!

–A Train

Little kid to bus driver, after a police car siren is heard: Whenever I hear a police car siren, I always think that they are getting donuts, 'cause, ya know, cops love donuts, right?

–B41 Bus

Dude: I was playing the new GTA. I drove around looking for my apartment but couldn't find it, so I just shot a bunch of cops.

–Columbus Circle

Cop with M-4 assault rifle (serious voice, on a sunny day): It's raining men out here.

–86th & Lexington

Wednesday One-liners Watch VH1

Drunk guy: You’re not the boss of me…Bruce Springsteen is the boss of me. –The Red Lion, Bleecker Street Guy: Seriously. Puff’s attorney called me the other day to say Puff wants me to sign a confidentiality agreement. Puff doesn’t want me to disclose that he is the seller. I said to tell Puff that he’s the one who has to sign a confidentiality agreement. If the boys at Goldman find out who I am buying from, my credibility is going to be shot forever. –Anotheroom, West Broadway Overheard by: Big Lex Paralegal lady on phone: And I thought to myself, “She looks so familiar, who is she?” Queen Latifah’s mother!…No, mangos. –Office, 50th & 6th Girl: Well, if he’s cranking the bass on a Dixie Chicks song at 2AM on a Monday at a bear bar to sell beer to lesbians he has much bigger problems than he knows. –The Dugout, Christopher Street Chick: If we see Robbie Williams tonight, I’m gonna die. –30th & Park Hipster guy: Yeah and what’s with Simon Cowell? That guy is like the Grinch Who Stole Everything Else. –Abbey Bar, Williamsburg Overheard by: Spyridon Panousopoulos Guy: You know you have reached the lowest point of all human existence when there’s a telethon featuring only John Denver music. –2nd between A & B Overheard by: djlindee Guy: God, I love going to Galapagos. You always run into all the right people there. You know, all the people that you haven’t seen since that last Yeah Yeah Yeahs show? –L train Overheard by: Shannon Woman on cell: Remember that handsome lawyer who took me out to dinner the other night? Yeah, well, he gave me an STD. It reminded me of a song. –14th & 6th Professor guy: Billy Joel, wow. He’s got about 10 shows coming up. I bet the stage production budget is through the roof. I’d drive a car onto stage…and smash it into a tree. –Fordham University, Rose Hill Overheard by: Jess McGins Woman: Brian Wilson beat me right the hell up right there; right the hell up! –43rd between 8th & 9th Overheard by: Ryan Duncan Old woman: Oh, is Lil’ Kim in jail? –7th & Bleecker Overheard by: Sarah Doogs Dude: I was listening to a DMX record the other day, and if that
guy’s telling the truth, he’s lived quite a life. –Gee Whiz Restaurant, Greenwich Street Overheard by: Matthew Alhonte Asian guy: The time has come fo’ mad hip-hop. –Go Sushi, St. Marks Place Overheard by: Alyson Leigh Crazy lady: Excuse me…Excuse me…Have you heard of a band called “The Diarrheas”? From Washington, DC! With Hillary and…Chuck! Like from Friday the 13th? Do you think they’ll be successful? –11th between 52nd & 53rd Third floor window guy: Hey fuck you, I don’t need you telling me that you are cooler than me, I saw the Ramones in ’83!…Fuck you, your not cooler than me, I saw Fugazi’s first show, I saw Minor Threat. What is your fucking claim to fame, seeing the White Stripes? –Rivington & Stanton

Medieval General: And After the Archers, Send in the Yellow Horde!

Asian guy: Hey, you ever play DDR?
White guy: I’m white. No, never played it.
Asian guy: Oh, I played at a friend’s yesterday. His sister was good.
White guy: Are you good?
Asian guy: I’m OK.
White guy: Redeem yourself. You’re not Asian anymore.
Asian guy: Dude, my friends are black. Black people can dance, idiot.
White guy: Yeah, and Asian people are good at DDR.
Asian guy: No, we’re just good at following arrows.

–Times Square

Overheard by: jason