Hipster on cell: Okay. After my nap. Call me from the park once you are covered in glitter and I will come down. –14th & B Hipster chick: I’m totally boycotting the sun this summer. –L train Overheard by: Matt Ferrin Guy on cell: …and I just told him, “I don’t care what you say. As far as I’m concerned, I am the star of a Broadway musical.” –34th & 7th Overheard by: Bridget Unnel
Guy: …so he digs stuff like Fahrenheit 451 and all–
Girl: “451”? Er, 9-11, you mean. –Park Slope Overheard by: Cap’n MidNite
Nine-year-old boy: Sometimes I just think I am a robot. I mean, aren't I a robot?
–E 17th & Broadway
Overheard by: definitely human
Tall guy: Yeah, you have to learn not to trust those shifty-eyed robots.
Hipster: And, like, he wasn't even gay… he was just not human.
–88th & Park
Comic book guy: No, not Optimus Prime. But yes, I have had sexual thoughts… about robots.
–40th & 7th
Cute chick: You don't need a sex robot to have sex with a robot.
–Old Town Bar
Overheard by: Lieut. Liplock
Girl #1: Oh my god! I just heard that Katie Holmes had her baby! Katie Holmes had her baby, everyone!
Girl #2: Xenu commands you to shut the fuck up while I’m on the phone with my dealer. –6th Avenue & West 4th Street Overheard by: Robin M. (cf. When we broke this story.)
Guy #1: So, I had this dream about Janet Jackson last night.
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: She told me, “Mitch, get your shit together”. –9th Street & 1st Avenue
Hood rat #1: It said “Puerto Rican Barbie.”
Hood rat #2: What?
Hood rat #1: That's why I bought that shit. Cuz you know she think she Puerto Rican anyway. She black on the outside, Puerto Rican on the inside. That's why she stay hanging round with those Ricans!
–Jay St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: CAC Baby from The Glebe
Geek #1: I mean, who knew that Mickey Rourke could act?
Geek #2: Dude, yeah! I mean, he’s no Steve Guttenberg. –Forbidden Planet, 13th Street
Tourist: Oh my god! That’s Maggie Gyllenhaal. She’s like, actually walking down the street! –Magnolia Bakery Overheard by: Jessica Blackshear JAP: Do not mention that freaking African queen and her recycled husband! –The Prime Grill, 49th Street Twentysomething woman on cell: I’m gonna be late because I had to walk Drew Barrymore’s dog. –in front of American Apparel, 7th Ave
Six-year-old boy: The talent show is tomorrow.
Mother: Oh, are you doing anything?
Six-year-old boy: Yeah, 50 Cent.
Mother: Honey, that’s a little inappropriate.
Six-year-old boy: What does inappropriate mean? –2 train Overheard by: Ana Orellano
Hobo: Was it right to be kicked out of a house for being an adult with a child mind? You don’t get it, lady. There’s a whole house of adults with child minds. Whatever. See ya! Wouldn’t want to be ya! –F train Queer: He totally has to understand that he’s crazy and that those Martha Stewart people are crazy too! –27th street office Crazy lady: Well, I think you should give me my musical instruments back because I know that you’ve been stealing them every day for the last nine years. Yes, I’m sure! I have proof. You see, that’s not music. That’s not rock and roll. That’s just crazy. –Bedford Avenue station Overheard by: Greg Rutter Crazy man: I already told you I don’t have no chicken. Besides, I gave you that tree last week. –54th & 11th Crazy woman: I’ve got demons behind me, shit next to me, and the ugly ones in front of me. I need an angel above me. –World Financial Center Overheard by: Dr. Ballon Crazy bag lady: Stay away from the people! Stay away from the idiot Mexicans! –Union Square Overheard by: Kaitlen Suit: …and I swear to God, man, the whole time? That creepy deaf-mute babysitter from across the hall?…is watching me. –46th & 8th Overheard by: ballpeen hammer Crazy lady: I don’t believe this. Pussyass son of a fucking faggot! –Lexington & 23rd Hobo: Would someone please tell Courtney Love to get her goddamned dick out of my mouth? Thank you! Would someone please tell Courtney Love to get her goddamned dick out of my mouth? Thank you! Would someone please tell Courtney Love to get her goddamned dick out of my mouth? Thank you! –19th between 7th & 8th