Archive for the ‘Pope’ Category

Hell is…Other Staten Island People

Woman: Yeah, he was a “client”.
Man #1: The Pope?
Woman: Yeah! Lots of times.
Man #2: Oops…no, I’m not saying it…I’m going to hell.
Woman: What? No, now you gotta tell me.
Man #2: Uh, was he good?…you know…with the Parkinson’s…sorta like a built-in vibrator. Did he have the Michael J. Fox thing going on? BVVVVT!
Man #1: Oh no!
Woman: Oh my God! You are going to hell.
Man #2: And you’re not? You fucked the Pope! –Tottenville, Staten Island

Wednesday One-Liners Burp the Worm

Teen girl: If you want to lose weight, watch a lot of porn. I'm serious, if you watch porn, you won't have to eat for hours. Oh, and masturbating burns a lot of calories, too. –Brooklyn Very upset drunk hobo, after conductor announces last stop: Your kickin' all these people out to wait for the next train, just so you can jerk off? –Bowling Green Station Street dancer: Everyone on earth was born as a result of an orgasm. Everyone masturbates. And if they say they don't, they're lying. Even the Pope masturbates! –Union Square Irish dude, throwing tea to the ground: It's not right, man! Asshole masturbated in my tea! –Outside Starbucks Teen thug: I wanna pleasure myself while writing an essay, what's the problem with that? –Q Train Overheard by: Robert G.

Wednesday One-Liners Do the Vatican Rag

Suit on cell: No, I’m not coming in today…I’m on the Upper East Side. There’s all this traffic from the Pope’s "Don’t sodomize the kids" world tour. –83rd & Lex Guy at bar: Most Popes hate Jews. –6th and D Gamer kid: Yeah, I was in DC this weekend with the Pope… Yeah, I saw that muthafucka. –218th & Park Terrace West Overheard by: Kelley Old lady, about young girl: Oh, she looks nice. She’s wearing Pope shoes. –Carmine St Overheard by: arctinus