Archive for the ‘Pope’ Category

If Only He Could See What He Was Saying

A blind Black man with a Star of David is holding court. Black man: The Pope is a faggot. They molested my kids. I want to go to church, but I can’t because they molested my kids…now all White people are faggots.
Hispanic guy #1: How come they have kids?
Black man: Silence, you will wait until I have finished speaking…can’t no one hit the ball like Hank Aaron. That’s why we all in prison and they trying to kill us, but we will kill them. Can’t nobody sing like Luther Vandross.
Hispanic guy #1: But–
Black man: Wait until I have finished…now the Hispanic people, like Dominicans and Cubans are also the true Jews, and the lost tribes of Israel…now you may address me.
Hispanic guy #2: What about Black Puerto Ricans, are they from the lost tribe?
Black man: I can’t stand Black Puerto Ricans! –West Farms bus stop, The Bronx

Hell is…Other Staten Island People

Woman: Yeah, he was a “client”.
Man #1: The Pope?
Woman: Yeah! Lots of times.
Man #2: Oops…no, I’m not saying it…I’m going to hell.
Woman: What? No, now you gotta tell me.
Man #2: Uh, was he good?…you know…with the Parkinson’s…sorta like a built-in vibrator. Did he have the Michael J. Fox thing going on? BVVVVT!
Man #1: Oh no!
Woman: Oh my God! You are going to hell.
Man #2: And you’re not? You fucked the Pope! –Tottenville, Staten Island

Bloody Wednesday One-liners

Queer on cell: Yah, well, Terri Schiavo died this week, and so did the Pope. So it’s been a pretty good week. –Chumley’s, Bedford Street Overheard by: Initials Girl on cell: Fuckety fuck fuck, I forgot to put on a tampon this morning. Shit, shit, shit! I’m screwed, Lizette, I’m screwed. –Bensonhurst Girl on cell: Don’t walk in the blood! Don’t walk in the blood! Oh ah aah!…Thanks lady, thanks for walking in the blood. –Essex & Rivington Overheard by: Nicole A.