Girl #1: What does the Pope wear when he like sleeps? Does he always wear the huge robe and tiny little hat?
Girl #2: Ha, ha! Wow, You just totally blew my mind.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Michelle Smith
Archive for the ‘Pope’ Category
If Only He Could See What He Was Saying
A blind Black man with a Star of David is holding court.
Black man: The Pope is a faggot. They molested my kids. I want to go to church, but I can’t because they molested my kids…now all White people are faggots.
Hispanic guy #1: How come they have kids?
Black man: Silence, you will wait until I have finished speaking…can’t no one hit the ball like Hank Aaron. That’s why we all in prison and they trying to kill us, but we will kill them. Can’t nobody sing like Luther Vandross.
Hispanic guy #1: But–
Black man: Wait until I have finished…now the Hispanic people, like Dominicans and Cubans are also the true Jews, and the lost tribes of Israel…now you may address me.
Hispanic guy #2: What about Black Puerto Ricans, are they from the lost tribe?
Black man: I can’t stand Black Puerto Ricans!
–West Farms bus stop, The Bronx
Hell is…Other Staten Island People
Woman: Yeah, he was a “client”.
Man #1: The Pope?
Woman: Yeah! Lots of times.
Man #2: Oops…no, I’m not saying it…I’m going to hell.
Woman: What? No, now you gotta tell me.
Man #2: Uh, was he good?…you know…with the Parkinson’s…sorta like a built-in vibrator. Did he have the Michael J. Fox thing going on? BVVVVT!
Man #1: Oh no!
Woman: Oh my God! You are going to hell.
Man #2: And you’re not? You fucked the Pope!
–Tottenville, Staten Island
Remember: No Eucharist After Midnight
Kid: John Paul II was like Furby…and this new guy is like a gremlin. –Bronx Science Overheard by: jessi
It’s Not Like He’s Some Crazy German or Anything
Guy #1: Benedict? That’s a terrible name for a Pope!
Guy #2: What do you know? There’s been fifteen of them already!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: koaloha
But Can He Get a Cab in Rome?
Guy #1: The next Pope might be black.
Guy #2: That guy’s not black. He’s African.
–Staten Island ferry
Bloody Wednesday One-liners
Queer on cell: Yah, well, Terri Schiavo died this week, and so did the Pope. So it’s been a pretty good week. –Chumley’s, Bedford Street Overheard by: Initials Girl on cell: Fuckety fuck fuck, I forgot to put on a tampon this morning. Shit, shit, shit! I’m screwed, Lizette, I’m screwed. –Bensonhurst Girl on cell: Don’t walk in the blood! Don’t walk in the blood! Oh ah aah!…Thanks lady, thanks for walking in the blood. –Essex & Rivington Overheard by: Nicole A.
Terrified of Old Men Screaming Profanities
Girl #1: He really scares me.
Girl #2: He’s the Pope! That’s totally sacrilege.
Girl #1: I know, but he has Tourette’s or something.
Girl #2: Or the flu.
Girl #1: Whatever.
–6 train