Archive for the ‘Pope’ Category

Goin’ to the Chapel and We’re Gonna Get Wednesday One-Liners

Big bald guy: No, no, you don’t have to be ordained to marry people at the show. Just put on the Pope robe if you want to marry people. –Office Building, Hudson St Guy: I took your advice, bro. I’m gonna marry her in a little over three weeks. But… I gotta get drunk first. –Houston & Broadway Overheard by: erin Suit #1 to suit #2: Well, maybe she won’t sign the pre-nup and then you’ll be free. –Wall Street Black chick: No! No! Ain’t no one gettin’ lynched at my wedding! –Food Dimensions, Myrtle & Broadway Overheard by: off white Woman on cell: The only time he gets to be himself is when he goes away and that’s the way he saves the marriage… Otherwise it’s "Mommy, I don’t feel well’ and ‘Mommy, may I be excused from the table." –23rd St & 5th Ave Overheard by: Mugsy’s Moll Goth chick on phone: He proposed to me while he was in me… Yea, well, I mean he told me after that he really meant it! –Penn Station

Wednesday One-liners Read 1 Corinthians

Queer on cell: So I saw this store that was going out of business…Yeah, so I got a faith and three hopes…Or was it two faiths and three hopes?…Ha, yeah, there wasn’t any love or anything. I bet I could sell a faith to Madonna for a hundred million dollars. Like, “Here you go, this is the most religious thing ever. More than you….bitch.”…Ha, ha, yeah. “It has holy waters from all over the world. The Pope came on it.” –New School, West 13th Street Overheard by: jimster

If Only He Could See What He Was Saying

A blind Black man with a Star of David is holding court. Black man: The Pope is a faggot. They molested my kids. I want to go to church, but I can’t because they molested my kids…now all White people are faggots.
Hispanic guy #1: How come they have kids?
Black man: Silence, you will wait until I have finished speaking…can’t no one hit the ball like Hank Aaron. That’s why we all in prison and they trying to kill us, but we will kill them. Can’t nobody sing like Luther Vandross.
Hispanic guy #1: But–
Black man: Wait until I have finished…now the Hispanic people, like Dominicans and Cubans are also the true Jews, and the lost tribes of Israel…now you may address me.
Hispanic guy #2: What about Black Puerto Ricans, are they from the lost tribe?
Black man: I can’t stand Black Puerto Ricans! –West Farms bus stop, The Bronx

Bloody Wednesday One-liners

Queer on cell: Yah, well, Terri Schiavo died this week, and so did the Pope. So it’s been a pretty good week. –Chumley’s, Bedford Street Overheard by: Initials Girl on cell: Fuckety fuck fuck, I forgot to put on a tampon this morning. Shit, shit, shit! I’m screwed, Lizette, I’m screwed. –Bensonhurst Girl on cell: Don’t walk in the blood! Don’t walk in the blood! Oh ah aah!…Thanks lady, thanks for walking in the blood. –Essex & Rivington Overheard by: Nicole A.