Guy: Dude, is it just me, or does it hurt when you pee too? –Port Authority Overheard by: Kris
Archive for the ‘Port Authority’ Category
Return to the Port Authority
Guy on Cell: Have you ever tried to masturbate while Michael Jackson’s “Rock With You” is playing in the background? Well, it’s more difficult than you think… –Port Authority Overheard by: Michael Roche
They Came from the Port Authority
Guy: …and they were like, it’s gonna cost sixty, but you get the this, and the that, and for sixty five, you can also get the other thing. I was like, “I’ll just have the chicken.” –Port Authority Boss of People: I don’t have to get to work before my guys anymore. Because there are no guys! They’re all laid off. –Port Authority
Greetings from the Freak Borough
JAP on cell: Yeah, he’s cute, but he’s from Staten Island!…Ever see that show on MTV, True Life: I’m Getting Married? Yeah, that guy was such trash, and everyone out there is like that! –Port Authority Overheard by: Rebecca Dash
It’s All Greek to Me
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee.
–Midtown office
First Of All, It's Fiji…
Janitor, looking at bathroom floor: Oh, I don't need this! Look at this water all over the floor! All over the place! Why don't you clean your pussy at home? Pour Evian all over the floor so you can clean your pussy–clean your dirty pussy at home! I don't need this! Water all over the floor!
–Bathroom, Port Authority Bus Terminal
Your Beauty Is Timeless.
Woman #1: I like your watch.
Woman #2: Oh, thank you. I like your face.
–PATH
The Wasteland Of Wednesday One-Liners
Guy to security guard: We're not fucking tourists, man, we're just trying to get back to our home in Jersey.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Metrosexual guy: There are two kinds of people I will never, ever, date. One are people who are culturally ignorant. The second is people from New Jersey.
–45th & 5th
Overheard by: Mr. Pink
Proper British woman to loud drunk guy: Go back to Jersey!
–BB King Concert, Christ United Church
Overheard by: bb
Uptight 40-something white guy: I can't wait to get safely back in New Jersey!
–A Train
Overheard by: JoshBob
Is Clinton Still in the White House?
Hobo: Anybody got the time?
Peeing guy: Yeah, it's 4:40.
Hobo: In the afternoon?
–Bathroom, Port Authority
Overheard by: Eric
Dads Just Love the Custodial Weekends
Little girl walking in wedding dress: Where now?
Dad: Okay, so we'll take the stairs to the subway and…
Little girl: Oh no! Not the stairs. No! I'm not taking the stairs. You can't make me. And the subway…? (scoffs at dad)
–Port Authority
Overheard by: WalkonBystander