Random lady to pregnant Indian woman: It's a girl… Girls make your ass look huge.
Pregnant Indian woman: Oh… But, it's a boy, I just went to doctor.
Random lady: Did your doctor see your huge ass?
–Cortelyou Rd, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Taylor
Archive for the ‘Preggers’ Category
This One Refuses to Come Out and Go Fetch Me a Beer
Pregnant woman on cell: I'd love to have another baby with him, but did you know he got two different girls pregnant in one year? (later in the conversation) Mmm-hmm, I know. Kids are annoying!
–7-Eleven
Overheard by: Jeffrey Rice
Oh, All Right. *Sigh*
Vendor: Comedy show! Comedy show?
Pregnant teen: No, thanks.
Vendor: Oh… Come on, you might as well make another bad decision! (gestures to belly)
–Times Square
Overheard by: Taryn
Unless You're Determined to Raise a Crappy Person
Pregnant lady: My tummy hurts, it's either gas or the baby.
Husband: How can you tell the difference?
Pregnant lady: By which exit is used.
–Katz Deli
Overheard by: M. McOrmick
And I'm Only Holding It in So It Doesn't Have to Take Up a Seat
Young girl: I want to sit over there! (points to occupied seat)
Pregnant mother: Girl, if I wasn't holding a baby in, I'll piss all over you.
–E Train
Overheard by: was sitting next to her…
It'd Be Good to Feel Respectable Again
Girl to pregnant friend: You're only three months along? Man, you think it's twins?
Pregnant girl: I hope so. And hey, if it is twins, I'll finally have two kids by the same dad.
–Uptown E train
It's the Birth Defect Nobody Talks About
Snobby Upper East Side lady to obviously pregnant lady: There's no room in here! Ugh, move over! You're just too fat!
Pregnant lady, slightly baffled, What a bitch!
Snobby lady, with nose in the air: Yes, I am.
–6 Train
Overheard by: sara
Can Civil Engineering Correct This Lack Of Civility? Discuss.
(nurse with elderly lady on wheelchair comes against Asian American pregnant woman with baby in stroller)
Nurse: Oh my, I'm sorry! (pulls back to let woman and child pass)
Asian American pregnant woman: Oh, I'm sorry, I can…
Senile old lady: Get out of the way, chink!
(infant cries)
Asian American pregnant woman: Excuse me?
Nurse: Oh my god! I'm so sorry.
Senile old lady: Don't apologize!
(nurse backs up and lets mother and child through)
–Washington Square Village
Overheard by: zgoldberg
Unless You Want to Be Burped
Attitude girl #1 to pregnant woman walking by: Uh! Excuse me!
Attitude girl #2: Girl, don't ever mess with a pregnant lady.
–F Train
Overheard by: Teresa
Wednesday One-Liners Want Angelina Jolie to Adopt Them
Large black woman to another: So I said to him, "Muthafucka, don't you know a baby comes out of that shit? Ain't nothing you got down there gonna hurt me!"
–Fulton St
Old man with thick Russian accent: It is fresher than a baby's bottom!
–Ave M & E 16th, Brooklyn
Ghetto black guy on phone: Nah, I was locked up, but I'm out now, and she's tryin' to say it's my baby, but that shit ain't mine.
–Downtown 2 Train
Man on cell, passing adorable child playing with dog: I love fucking babies!
–10th & 53rd
Puerto Rican girl to pregnant friend: You feel like you have to poop, but that's just the baby.
–36th St & 34th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Bryan Bruner
Conductor: Ma'am, please step off the ramp platform and wait until it is safe. (pause) Miss, you're having a frickin' baby, get off the ramp! (she does) Thank you.
–Metro-North Rail Tracks
Overheard by: Theonlyonewhoseemedtonotice
Teenage mother to friends, running to catch subway: Last one gets the baby!
–Broadway
Overheard by: Francisco S. Ramírez