Preppy guy: She's half Mexican. Her father is from Spain.
Preppy girl: Wouldn't that make her half Spanish, not Mexican?
Preppy guy: What is the difference?
–83rd St & 2nd Ave
Archive for the ‘Preppies’ Category
…So I'll Ask Their Names First.
Preppy white girl, about friend's shirt: I wanna party like a rock star!
Punk guy friend: So you want to play a show, shoot up heroin, fuck a stranger, then do it all again in another state the next night?
Preppy white girl: I don't wanna fuck strangers!
–Queensboro Plaza
Overheard by: diex-romantic
Dude, He's Twelve!
Young son: Daddy, look! It's a doggy!
Preppy father: Yeah, it's a dog, son. Give it a break.
Bystander: Father of the year!
–Union Square
Overheard by: likes dogs
The Non-Standard Usage Of Wednesday One-Liners
Guy on cell: There's a lot bruacracy in public social work…
–Eastern Parkway & New York Ave
Overheard by: jeff
Woman on phone: Her mother is a bird. Her whole family is a flock of birds. I cannot even say how ghetto she is. She said, "columinate." I said, what? You mean "a-coom-a-late?
–1 Train
Preppy on cell: What's your next class? Professional rioting?
–Fordham
Girl: This class is skewered. There are only three guys and like twenty girls. Damn!
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: Phil
Guy to girl on train: She's just like "huh, brutha." It's like, embedded in them. They were breaded that way.
–7 Train
I Think It's Screen-printed on an Ironic T-shirt Somewhere
Preppy girl, confused: Where are we right now?
Preppy guy: I don't even know.
Preppy girl: Where is the heart of Williamsburg? Is there even a heart of Williamsburg?
–The Brooklyn Kitchen, Williamsburg
Wednesday One-Liners Are Just “Sociable”
Drunk gay man: I've slept with more men than my mom has!
–Ave A
Overheard by: Let his own mom win that contest
Woman to man: I don't want to be known as the whore of New Yorkers.
–9th Ave & 44th St
Woman on cell: It's just sex. There's no way you guys can ever be permanently tied, or anything.
–Macy's
Preppy, middle-aged woman, about man on iPhone: Who is that whore?
–Bookstore, Brooklyn
Overheard by: -she probably said
Notice That Little Puddle on the Floor?
Out-of-place preppy: Hey, I think that's Grace. Isn't that Grace, dude? Grace! Grace!
Not Grace: Nope, sorry. It's Beth, actually. (keeps walking)
Not Grace's girlfriend: You know, you didn't have to tell them your real name.
Not Grace: I know, I just got excited.
–2nd Ave
Overheard by: Also Not Grace.
It's Bloody Hell!
Preppy blonde: So like, you know how it kinda hurts when your tampon gets too full?
Flamboyantly gay friend: Oh, yeah, I hate that.
–A Train
Wednesday One-Liners' Monogrammed Towels Say “W.O.L.”
Preppy teenage boy on cell: I use the word "ex" as a coping mechanism. She can have her name back once I'm healed.
–Grand Central
Transvestite on cell: I'm changing my name from Angela to Rachel. Angela sounds very Disney. I don't feel like Disney. I feel like a hard sound, like Rachel.
–Pelham Bay Park
Black guy: Shit be fucked up. Niggas got bitches' names. Bitches got niggas' names.
–26th & 8th
Overheard by: Withnail
Yuppie to another: You know, man, I think you say my name more than your wife's.
–62nd & 2nd
Overheard by: The Vonz
Upper East Side girl, seriously: You know what the first thing I look for in a gentleman caller is? His name.
–89th St & 3rd Ave
Hey, Mind If I Take Your Wallet?
Emaciated goth/punk guy: Hey, do you know where a CVS is?
Passerby suit: I don't know what that is…
Passerby preppy girl: Are you looking for a CVS?
Emaciated goth/punk guy: Yes!
Preppy girl: Well, there's a Duane Reade right there, it's like, the same thing.
Emaciated goth/punk guy, matter-of-factly: I know, it's just impossible to steal from Duane Reade.
Preppy girl: Oh.
Emaciated goth/punk guy: I'm really poor.
Preppy girl: Okay.
Emaciated goth/punk guy, cheerful: Thanks anyway!
Preppy girl, also cheerful: You're welcome!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Hannah