Archive for the ‘Preppies’ Category

Wasn’t There Some Kind Of Angel with a Turkey Baster?

Teen girl: You know what I don’t get?
Preppy friend: What?
Teen girl: If Mary was a virgin, how did she get pregnant?
Preppy friend: Uh…I think a white dove came down and landed on her.
Teen girl: … And where did it land?
Preppy friend: On her shoulder.
Teen girl: So a dove–
Preppy friend: A white dove. Impregnated mary on her shoulder. Yeah.
Teen girl: Who told you that?
Preppy friend: Sara, in Geometry.
Teen girl: … Sara is Jewish, you idiot!

–McDonald’s, Park Ave

No Wednesday One-Liner, No Love

50-something beefy man in wife beater on cell: Yo! I've got a bag of condoms and Jolly Ranchers!

–14th & 6th

Overheard by: Funky Monkey

Preppy girl to friend on phone: I mean… I've had to take Plan B twice this week already!

–2nd Ave & 9th

Drunken street vendor: Buy these Obama condoms! Flavored with hope, they'll get you through "hard" times!

–Times Square

Woman on cell: I got home to take a shower and he stuffs a bunch of condoms in his pocket right in front of me and then walks out the door. I mean what the hell is that?

–Astor Place

Man to woman on escalator: Well, just next time, remember to use protection!

–Babies"R"Us, Union Square

Overheard by: miziz

The Gospel According to Johanna

Preppy girl: He was nice — really successful, owns his own apartment… I just wasn’t into him. He kept trying to hook up and I just wanted to be left alone. He proceeded to jerk off into his pajama pants. Oh, and by the way, it took about 40 seconds. I didn’t even have enough time to react. He then rolled over and went to sleep in it! The worst part is that he’s still calling me. Hello, buddy — you jerked off into your own pants and slept in your own cum. Yeah, we’re not gonna work.
Guy friend: That’s awesome! Who can I tell next?

–47th & Lex