Archive for the ‘President’ Category

No Wednesday One-Liner, No Love

50-something beefy man in wife beater on cell: Yo! I've got a bag of condoms and Jolly Ranchers! –14th & 6th Overheard by: Funky Monkey Preppy girl to friend on phone: I mean… I've had to take Plan B twice this week already! –2nd Ave & 9th Drunken street vendor: Buy these Obama condoms! Flavored with hope, they'll get you through "hard" times! –Times Square Woman on cell: I got home to take a shower and he stuffs a bunch of condoms in his pocket right in front of me and then walks out the door. I mean what the hell is that? –Astor Place Man to woman on escalator: Well, just next time, remember to use protection! –Babies"R"Us, Union Square Overheard by: miziz

Wednesday One-Liners Still Resent Giuliani

Hobo, walking quickly around a lady: You cannot fuck with a power walker! –60th & 6th Hobo on corner: Yo man, can I borrow like a hundred dollars plus tax? –Outside Gray's Papaya Panhandling teenager: I'm like Obama. I want change! –Union Square Overheard by: Canadian Girl Hobo to self: I don't have anything against people with homes. Why, some of my very best friends have homes! –E 35th & 6th Ave Hobo to cops talking him away: Nah, man. I wasn't peeing on no stairs. What you don't understand is that I don't pee for anyone else, I pee for myself. –145th Street Subway Station Overheard by: Ben B.

But Those Are the Only Presidents We’ve Had Who Were Related, Right?

Man looks down at Time magazine with Theodore Roosevelt on the cover. Man: Wait. We had two President Roosevelts? When did that happen?
Supervisor: Yeah. There was, um, [looks at cover] Teddy, and, uh, shit. What was the other one named?
Man: I don’t know. Shit, man, history’s hard because, you know, there’s just so much of it. It’s, like, impossible to really understand it, I think.
Supervisor: Yeah, that’s true. –K-Mart, 9th St & 4th Ave Overheard by: appalled customer buying swim trunks

There's Always a High Fence Between Generations

20-something guy: That new Arizona law is messed-up, man. They are gonna have to…
60-something guy, interrupting: The law is right, they gotta get those Mexicans before they kill us.
20-something guy: What!?
60-something guy: I don't know what Obama is waiting for. They need to make Mexico a state.
20-something guy: Do you even know what your saying?
60-something guy: You're still young. I speak the truth. –73rd St & Broadway