Archive for the ‘Private Parts’ Category

Teabagging 101

Preteen Boy #1: Get her, fuck her, leave her.
Preteen Boy #2: Is that what you do?
Preteen Boy #1: Hell yeah. Teabagging.
Preteen Boy #2: Teabagging?
Preteen Boy #1: Yeah. Get in and get out. That’s teabagging.
Preteen Boy #2: Ha, ha! Teabagging!
Preteen Boy #1: Hey, how do you spell Utah?
Preteen Boy #2: U… U…
Preteen Boy #1: Tell me how to spell Utah, motherfucker! –Smith/9th St. Station Overheard by: Mary Phillips-Sandy

Seminal Wednesday One-liners

Hip Hop Guy on cell: I’ll just keep my nuts shaved and everything’ll be fine. –Varick Street Coffee guy on phone: I’m not talking about whacking off, I’m talking about fried chicken! –Alt.coffee, Avenue A Overheard by: Dibson Hoffweiler

Boys Don't Wednesday One-Liner

Mom to small children: Well, we all have parts. And these parts talk to our bodies and tell us we are a boy or a girl. And sometimes these parts get confused.

–Washington Square East

20-something girl to male friend: You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl!

–N Train

Overheard by: TR

Mother to gender-transitioning son, questioning plans for surgery: Are you a boy trapped in a girl's body? I'm getting a face lift, and it's because I'm a young person trapped in an old person's body.

–39th & 9th

Man in yellow and green track suit and aviator sunglasses: Nah, I can't go. That's when I'm having my breast reduction.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Ems

Teenage boy: I don't wanna be on that block, son! I know too many trannies on that block!

–Bedford & Grove

Overheard by: How many is too many?

Guy on cell, leaving message: Hello, Dave. This is your mother.

–Tisch School of the Arts

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Teen boy: Fear me, I have vaginitis!

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Jingles