Hot girl #1: Oh, wow, guys, he just texted me and asked me if I want to go out for drinks with him!
Hot girl #2: He did?
Hot girl #3: Didn't he make it with your sister?
Hot girl #2: Yeah, why do you want to go out with him for?
Hot girl #3: Double dipping, that's why.
Hot girl #1: Yeah, why not? Let's keep it in the family.
–Central Park
Overheard by: who say's that!!!
Archive for the ‘Promiscuity’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners Are a Social Construct
Angry construction worker to befuddled construction worker: Don't look at me like that! Don't say that to me! Go home and fuck my wife, asshole!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jumana
Construction working to another: Man, I need to get me a bi girlfriend. She'd be lovin' me, and I'd be lovin' her friends.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Rich R.
Construction worker, singing: If there's a skeeter on your Peter/whack it off! (claps twice)
–Waverly Place & 5th Ave
Overheard by: steph
Tough construction worker, unloading van: Yo, I was up til like 2 am watchin' Scooby Doo Where Are You!
–Humboldt & Withers
Overheard by: francesca
Construction worker, staring up at construction skyscraper: It's all twisted. It's going to come down.
–Williams St
Overheard by: Sonya
Wedneslutsday One-Liners
30-something woman on phone: Ma! Jesus, ma. I totally agree with you. (pause) Yeah, he told me to come over when the house was done. (pause) Yeah, fixed up. Jesus, ma. (groan) Yes. No! I'm not a slut. Ma!
–Jackson Heights
Overheard by: maria
Teen girl to friend: I was living with my grandmother and my girlfriend was studying social work, I was sleeping with men at this time–but I wasn't a slut or anything.
–Westside Tavern, 23rd & 8th
Girl on cell: How many guys did I sleep with? Thirty, forty?
–Pearl St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: CAC Baby from The Glebe
Father on phone with daughter: I didn't raise you to be a fucking whore. If I wanted you to be a whore you think I would've paid for your goddamn degree?
–Washington Square Park
High school freshman to friend: My Spanish teacher called me a slut!
–61st St & Amsterdam Ave
Another Conversation Comes to a Split End
Pretty brunette: Oh my god! I haven't seen you in forever! Look at you, you dyed your hair. It looks great!
Pretty blonde: Oh, thanks! Hah, yeah, I did it a year ago. I wanted to change things up a little.
Pretty brunette, in jest: So, is it true? Do you have more fun now?
Pretty blonde, sighing earnestly: Ugh. Kind of, but it's always short-lived. I actually have a lot of hookups with guys who have no interest in ever seeing me again after that. It kind of sucks. And actually, this definitely started when I dyed my hair…
Pretty brunette: Oh, uhm, I was kind of joking.
Pretty blonde: Yeah, well… I wasn't.
Pretty brunette, uncomfortably: Oh.
–86th & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: a blonde who hasn't noticed this
“Your Mama's So Wednesday, She's a One-Liner!”
Young woman in need of sympathy: You have to forgive me! My mother, she fucked me up! I'm soooo fucked up!
–7th St & Ave A
Overheard by: stephie
Teenage girl: My mom is a fan of "wild sex" on Facebook.
–Starbucks
Girl in red jacket: It's not the whole gay thing, it's the whole sex-in-front-of-your-mother thing.
–Hudson & Varrick
Man to another, across seat: Get up! Get up, fool. Yo' momma don't love you! And if yo' momma don't love you, don't nobody love you.
–E Train
Male NYU student: Yay, my mom's picking me up!
–NYU
Overheard by: George
Wednesday One-Liners Are Just “Sociable”
Drunk gay man: I've slept with more men than my mom has!
–Ave A
Overheard by: Let his own mom win that contest
Woman to man: I don't want to be known as the whore of New Yorkers.
–9th Ave & 44th St
Woman on cell: It's just sex. There's no way you guys can ever be permanently tied, or anything.
–Macy's
Preppy, middle-aged woman, about man on iPhone: Who is that whore?
–Bookstore, Brooklyn
Overheard by: -she probably said
Wednesday One-Liners Won't Do This Again. 'Til Nex Time.
20-something girl to friend: I mean, my husband never asked me a direct question; so I never had to lie. He never said, "what were you doing today at 3 pm?" so I didn't ever have to respond,"screwing my new boyfriend in a Lower East Side apartment that we just rented."
–Max Cafe, Morningside Heights
Girl on cell: This time I'll respect the fact that you're engaged.
–St. Mark's & 1st
Overheard by: spead
White guy to Asian guy: But no sex, because she has a boyfriend… But head is okay…
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: GreenwichSandwich
Man shouting on cell: I'm a spic?! Well, you're a Jew! Besides, how was I supposed to know you had a husband?
–5th Ave & 90th St
30-something guy to another: So I asked this girl if she had any friends she could hook me up with and she responded with an emailed .pdf of names, pictures, phone numbers and a short blurb about each girl. The funniest part was this one girl, it said: "has boyfriend, will fuck other people."
–Union Square West
Overheard by: Brian
And That Woman Would Go on to Become Attorney General.
Woman to thug: I don't care if you fuck other bitches. Fuck whoever you want!
Thug: Baby…
Woman: Seriously. Fuck until your dick falls off. I don't care.
–1 Train
Wednesday One-Liners Bypass the Language Center Of the Brain
Cosmetology teacher: We do not do sterilization in this class. That is what they do in a medical lavatory.
–Cosmetology Class, Astoria
Overheard by: Kelsey
Fat black teen shoving past white couple: I like how they ain't know how a say "excuse me."
–Wilson ave, Bushwick
Xerox repairman on cell: Yo, you sound like John Lecoozigamo! He's a comedian. Le-cooz-I-ga-mo.
–132nd St & Cypress
Overheard by: office drone
Middle-aged mother with thick Staten Island accent on cell: Ronny, where are you?! We are standing outside and we are freezing the children!
–New York City Transit Museum, Brooklyn
Indignant thug to thugette: I told her we wasn't together. How did she know I'm with you? Did you tell her differentwise?
–Q20 Bus
Overheard by: Liza
Wednesday One-Liners Love You, Man
Drunk chick: Who wants a bite of my freak salad? Whoo!
–Hudson & W 11th
Very drunk male hipster: Whass the problem? Roofies make you goofy!
–Stanton & Allen
Wasted college girl: Guys, let's go get more drunk! I wanna get laid! (to another girl on cell) Tell your boyfriend I wanna get laid!
–115th & Broadway
Overheard by: Oh, dear.
Man of questionable sobriety: She tore off my shirt with her teeth, and then covered my chest in Jameson, licked it off, and then humped my face until I fell off the swing.
–Red Restaurant, South Street Seaport