Archive for the ‘Promiscuity’ Category

Work Day One-Liners

Postal worker to another: Oh, no, don't worry. You do what you want. It is impossible for them to fire you, girl. –Tompkins Square Park Mr. Big, sarcastically on cell: Is there anything else that I can do for you, honey, while I'm out making a living? –First Class Cabin, American Airlines Overheard by: Frequent Flyer Scruffy drunk hipster guy to frumpy drunk hipster girl: That's how girls touch me… at work. –Cobble Hill Brooklyn Guy on cell: I really need to give up drugs cause, like, no one will hire me. I'm gonna wait a few weeks and try to get a job at Food Emporium. –Astor Place 20-something girl to another: See, the thing with sweatshops is, at least they have jobs. –Chelsea Overheard by: arielle Well-dressed gay man to another: Doesn't she know the best part of her job is going through the OfficeMax catalogue to order matching office supplies? That should be the highlight of anyone's day! –E Train Overheard by: lk

Wednesday One-Liners Take Occasional Breaks to Eat and Shower

Mini-skirt on cell: Just because I had sex with you doesn't mean I gave you my phone number! –52nd & Lexington Brunette with a booty on her cell: You're going to be a whore this summer. (quick pause) Can you start by coming out here and whoring yourself?! –Penn Station Hot brunette on cell: Ohmigod. How does he do those backflips? He's like 6 feet tall and super built. He probably gets so much ass. Whatever, I would totally be his groupie. –Midtown East Overheard by: damn i'd be his groupie too Bouncer to bouncer: The bible does say "Be fruitful and multiply." It doesn't say "with one person." –West Village Overheard by: Bible Fan Chick: I'm not a whore, but I am not gonna miss out on a chance to fuck that bitch's boyfriend. Plus, she owes me like 30 bucks. –L Train Overheard by: Kelly

Let’s Get It On, Wednesday One-liners

Guy on cell: She is worse than blow, man…I can never have sex with anyone else ever again now that I’ve had a taste of paradise. –Starbucks, 43rd & 3rd Chick on cell: So how come you never told me about this other girl you are dating? She’s from work? You have to tell me these things! You can’t just keep this shit from me…wait, so you just fucked her and now it’s over? That’s how it is? Why are you telling me this? You can’t just tell me this! –Duane Reade, 96th & Broadway Overheard by: Douglas Dukeman Chick on cell: I swear to you, Matt was an animal in bed last night, but Kelly was much better. –72nd & Broadway Overheard by: Sophia

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just “Sociable”

Drunk gay man: I've slept with more men than my mom has! –Ave A Overheard by: Let his own mom win that contest Woman to man: I don't want to be known as the whore of New Yorkers. –9th Ave & 44th St Woman on cell: It's just sex. There's no way you guys can ever be permanently tied, or anything. –Macy's Preppy, middle-aged woman, about man on iPhone: Who is that whore? –Bookstore, Brooklyn Overheard by: -she probably said

Wednesday One-Liners Are Out the Door Before the Condom Comes Off

Building worker on cell: Like her? No, I don’t like her. I have to like every girl that I bone? Terrible? Why is that terrible? –52nd St & 6th Ave Overheard by: blatto Guy on cell: I’m looking for someone to, excuse my language, fuck, not just have sex with. –Manhattan Ave Overheard by: Jason Eurotrash: So then I felt bad because he couldn’t guess who I was and so I gave him a hint. I told him I would meet him at six o’clock at the motel, because you know, that was like our place! –34th St & 5th Ave Guy: You sleep with them once and they expect you to bring your toothbrush and loofa over the next time. –Tad’s Montana Overheard by: Mishen Girl on cell: Remember how I was talking to that guy in London? Well, he’s coming to visit for five days. Yeah, it’s gonna be fun. I’ve decided, after he leaves, I’m not going to talk to him anymore. What’s the point? It’s not even a relationship, it’s a pseudo-relationship. You fight and get mad and what for? I’m not moving to London, he’s not moving to New York. Yeah, so we’ll have fun, and then when he leaves, I just won’t talk to him anymore. How is that shady? –N train, Astoria Overheard by: MissPinkKate Girl: Yeah, I feel like I’m bangin’ the whole world! –Columbus Circle subway exit

Itching, Burning, Flaking Wednesday One-Liners

Girl to friend: I told him you had fucking mad STDs because he said he wanted to fuck you. (pause) You're welcome! –Washington Square Park Suit exiting cab: Yo, make sure you don't give him your number. He's got crabs. –30th Ave & 30th St, Astoria Overheard by: OhKellyO Blonde 20-something on phone: Either the universe just proved there is no god, or he is a motherfucking cunt! (pauses, then in low tone) Because… I think I have herpes. –Battery Park Overheard by: close enough to hear the herpes part Thug to thugette: I didn't have warts on my body till I met you. –Metro North Overheard by: baconista Guy on cell, leaning casually against fire hydrant: Hey, so, I just got my test results back, and… uh… so I got herpes. So… maybe you should get yourself tested. (pause) No, no, no. No. No! Dammit, Jessica, listen, I… fuck. Sorry, Jennifer. No, I–no, I'm sorry, I've just been making this call a lot today. (pause) Hello? –Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn Overheard by: Kytt

On eHarmony, No Less.

College girl #1: For two people who've been together for so long, Jen and Mike really haven't done much in bed. She was so surprised to hear how far I went with Steve.
College girl #2: I thought they've had sex?
College girl #1: Yeah, but he's never seen her boobs!!
College girl #2: They had sex and he's never seen her boobs? Nate has seen my boobs–does that make me a whore?
College girl #1: Steve has seen my boobs too…
College girl #2: Who is more of a whore?
College girl #1: Me–definitely me.
College girl #2: I don't think so.
College girl #1: Let's have a competition.
College girl #2: I met him over the internet!
College girl #1: Oh yeah! You win. –Union Square