Suit on cell: And your penis is bigger now? –68th & Lexington Guy: I’m being totally honest, you guys…I pulled my groin playing ping pong. –51st & Lexington Overheard by: Mike Barish Lady: Well, I don’t think he realized I was a hooker! –73rd & Broadway Overheard by: Sandro Olivieri Girl on cell: So he was a big guy, and he was pretty big, but not that big, but I’m, like, tiny, so we tried, but it wouldn’t go in. Are you listening to me? No, it wouldn’t fit…what could I do? I dropped to my knees and did what I could, but we just won’t work. –West Broadway & Houston Overheard by: Darby O’Gill Mustache: I walked in and it was clearly a gang bang gone awry. –Dive bar, 96th Street
Woman selling crap on side of road: Come on, let’s go get high, so you can make love to me, so we can get something to eat. Come on.
–Fulton and Gold
Chick: I don’t have any more cigarettes.
Bag lady: I don’t want no cigarette. I ain’t no crack addict. I’m a ho. –outside Ding Dong Lounge, UWS
Football player on razor scooter, chasing shirtless theater major: I'll get you my pretty… And your little dick too!
Girl, looking at long ladies bathroom queue: At times like these, I wish women had dicks.
–Winter Garden Theatre
Slightly drunk man: I feel like someone just shut a door on my dick.
Overheard by: Sunny
Hooker to pimp: I had to suck his dick in front of everyone!
–Outside Penn Station
Overheard by: David
Disco-glam drag queen: It was! It was baby oil, and I knew it!
Overheard by: Katie
Black drag queen in kimono: I'm a corn pone Southern faggot, we do not do yoga.
Overheard by: Ryan K
Hysterical Latina transvestite: My life is in my ass, mijo!
Overheard by: Jean
Drag queen hooker to older lady staring at her: You so wish you could wear a onesie like me.
Prostitute #1: And then she got pregnant by a homeless man!
Prostitute #2: Even I think that's low!
Woman on cell: I may or may not have just accidentally become a sex worker.
–40th & 9th
Overheard by: McFreaky
Attractive gay man to boyfriend: If I had a better body, I would be a prostitute.
–W 4th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: rpk
Girl to friends: Just slap me! Slap me like a Thai hooker, for god's sake.
–115th & Broadway
Overheard by: columbia undergrad
Five-year-old boy: Mom, what's a gigolo?
Overheard by: Justine
Woman yelling into a cell: For the love of god, I'm sleeping with men for crack. Do you really think that would mess with my list of priorities?
–2nd Ave & Houston
Overheard by: Wonders what the suggestion was
20-something woman on cell: Wait–am I in the sex industry?
Overheard by: Poogins
Random woman: I’m a well known prostitute here in New York.
Random man: Oh really? You’re well-known around here?! Says who?!
Random woman: Ask anyone!
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Paula
Woman, to friend: he was so excited, I thought his butt plug was going to shoot out of his ass.
–Spring Street and 6th St
Overheard by: Sarah O.
Dude in fur coat and construction boots: My mom asked me if I had a razor in my butt…
–Downtown ‘1’ Train
Husband to wife:
I can’t believe you just put your finger up my butt hole!
–Grand Central Terminal
Overheard by: bonifacia
Transvestite prostitute: I just got off my second and last date tonight… Man paid me 4 bills to stick my fingers in his booty.
Overheard by: Erin
Guy on cell: you have to get drunk enough not to puke, but enough to take the piece of glass into your ass!
–Bleeker & Barrow
Overheard by: ivy270
Guy on cell phone passing by: normally when you say that, my asshole starts puckering!
Prostitute #1, about gay men leaving bar: Oh, girl, don’t even waste yo’ time. Those two are gay.
Prostitute #2: Goddammit! This neighborhood’s gettin’ so fucked up! I can’t even do my job no more!
–46th & 9th
Overheard by: Dan