Archive for the ‘Prostitutes’ Category

Wednesdays Pad Their One-Liners

Football player on razor scooter, chasing shirtless theater major: I'll get you my pretty… And your little dick too!

–Wagner College

Girl, looking at long ladies bathroom queue: At times like these, I wish women had dicks.

–Winter Garden Theatre

Slightly drunk man: I feel like someone just shut a door on my dick.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Sunny

Hooker to pimp: I had to suck his dick in front of everyone!

–Outside Penn Station

Overheard by: David

Christian Siriano: “Wednesday Is a Hot One-Liner Mess”

Disco-glam drag queen: It was! It was baby oil, and I knew it!

–Rubulad, Bed-Stuy

Overheard by: Katie

Black drag queen in kimono: I'm a corn pone Southern faggot, we do not do yoga.

–Tribeca

Overheard by: Ryan K

Hysterical Latina transvestite: My life is in my ass, mijo!

–2 Train

Overheard by: Jean

Drag queen hooker to older lady staring at her: You so wish you could wear a onesie like me.

–MTA

Wednesday One-Liners in Clear Heels

Woman on cell: I may or may not have just accidentally become a sex worker.

–40th & 9th

Overheard by: McFreaky

Attractive gay man to boyfriend: If I had a better body, I would be a prostitute.

–W 4th & 6th Ave

Overheard by: rpk

Girl to friends: Just slap me! Slap me like a Thai hooker, for god's sake.

–115th & Broadway

Overheard by: columbia undergrad

Five-year-old boy: Mom, what's a gigolo?

–6 Train

Overheard by: Justine

Woman yelling into a cell: For the love of god, I'm sleeping with men for crack. Do you really think that would mess with my list of priorities?

–2nd Ave & Houston

Overheard by: Wonders what the suggestion was

20-something woman on cell: Wait–am I in the sex industry?

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Poogins

You Put That in Your Wednesday One-Liner?

Woman, to friend: he was so excited, I thought his butt plug was going to shoot out of his ass.

–Spring Street and 6th St

Overheard by: Sarah O.

Dude in fur coat and construction boots: My mom asked me if I had a razor in my butt…

–Downtown ‘1’ Train

Husband to wife:
I can’t believe you just put your finger up my butt hole!


–Grand Central Terminal

Overheard by: bonifacia

Transvestite prostitute: I just got off my second and last date tonight… Man paid me 4 bills to stick my fingers in his booty.

–Meat-packing District

Overheard by: Erin

Guy on cell: you have to get drunk enough not to puke, but enough to take the piece of glass into your ass!

–Bleeker & Barrow

Overheard by: ivy270

Guy on cell phone passing by: normally when you say that, my asshole starts puckering!

–Union Square

Wednesday One-Liners Will Do Anything but Kiss on the Mouth

Woman: Yeah, but just because you can play a dying crackwhore in Rent, that doesn’t mean that you can play a dying crackwhore in Les Mis — they’re two different kinds of whores!

–Broadhurst Theatre

Columbia chick: Yeah, I’d be the Mother Theresa of prostitutes.

–Columbia University

Couple arguing on the street: You want to talk about the truth, fine — let’s talk about the truth! What about that time I found you upstairs in our apartment smoking crack with that prostitute?

–2nd Ave & E 5th St

Overheard by: Awestruck Iowan

Girl: Well, of course I’m mad… She’s taking my pimp from me!

–Mall

Announcer: There is a ‘B’-as-in-‘brothel’ train approaching the station.

–59th St, Columbus Circle Station

Overheard by: Jennifer

Chick on cell: I think we’re all hypothetical hookers, to some extent.

–Harlem

Overheard by: McF