Bachelor: I’m going to find out where all the hookers are, and I’m going to buy that. –2nd Ave & 5th St.
Guy: Man, I don’t have any money… I wish I was a prostitute.
Overheard by: Kay
Man on cell: She ain’t gettin’ it. I’ll tell you what we’re going to do — we’re going to fire all the women. The one time a month we need ‘em, we’ll hire hookers.
–Washington Square Park
Man on cell: Don’t call her a prostitute! That’s my mom you’re talking about. You lived with her — was she a prostitute then? No, she was not!
–92nd & 1st
Overheard by: Jessie’s Girl
Suit: So have you considered prostitution? I’m not saying you should do it, but have you thought about it?
Hipster: She was movie hooker! You hardly ever see a movie hooker in real life!
Overheard by: wondering what they were talking about
JAP on cell: Fulton Street is big! Not as big as your appetite for hookers, but big enough!
–Broadway & Nassau
Overheard by: nbtd
Guy to friends at table: My dad owns a crackwhore house, and he wonders why his electric bills are so high!
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: Genna and Elaina
Construction worker #1: My girlfriend is being deported.
Construction worker #2: Why, 'cause she's illegal?
Construction worker #1: No, 'cause she's a fucking whore.
–38th St & 9th Ave
Woman to another: She had one baby at her breast and another baby sitting next to her, trying to sell chicklets.
–10 Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: Jarrod
Young man to young woman: Sell it on the black market or give it up for adoption. That's basically your only two options.
–Grand St, Chinatown
Overheard by: Mike Posillico
Crazy woman to entire bus: My husband be given my money to all those hoes. That's why I gotta sell coffee. But at least I'm not sellin' my ass… (gets distracted by radio) Oh, this is a nice song.
Overheard by: Karly
Father of four, attempting herd jumping children on street: Okay, the next child that doesn't listen to me will be sold!
–34th & 3rd
Overheard by: Dahouhou
Midwestern lady tourist to husband: Huh, Virgin. I wonder what they sell there.
–14th St, across Doomed Megastore
Overheard by: Not buyin what they're sellin
Girl #1: One of the best things our country could do right now is legalize prostitution.
Girl #2: Really? One of the best?
–Outside Magnolia Bakery, 11th & Bleecker
Overheard by: cupcake fan
Mother to five-year-old daughter: That's why she's a very smart woman. She married a very rich man for exactly that reason.
–University Place &10th St
Overheard by: evanescent
Homeless man to little boy with parents: Ask your mama why she marry your daddy. She'll tell you it was for the money.
–Statue of Liberty
Sorority girl to another: So like, do you think Brad makes good investments?
–53rd & 1st
Asian girl on cell: It's like I have a sign that says "trophy wife" written across my forehead, and then they find out I'm 22 and the sign is suddenly in neon.
Girl on cell: No, you remember, I'm going to be a gold-digger! It's like a hooker, but smarter.
College guy: You could always just become a prostitute.
College girl: That's exactly what I want to do with my degree. I've always wanted to be a whore.
Young Betty #1: Well, then, just stop complaining and become a hooker.
Young Betty #2: I don't even like sex with my boyfriend.
Young Betty #1: See? You're already nuts… you might as well get paid.
Angry teen on cell: I'm not gonna pay 18 dollars for a wedgie!
–Lingerie Department, Macy's
Overheard by: me neither
Girl on cell: I don't have a problem with camping, but why do they have to give me a sleeping bag? Can't they give me linens? It's not like I'm not giving them an insignificant amount of money.
–W Broadway & Grand
Suit on cell: At first I was only making $30,000 a year, but last year I got shot in the foot, and then I got a $1,000 bonus, so now I'm making $32,000 a year. Shit!
Overheard by: Brittany Smith
Loud woman on cell: I like and don't mind fucking you, but I need to get paid. I'm unemployed right now.
–108th & Broadway
Elevator operator for observatory, upon leaving: Please come again! We want your money.
–Empire State Building
Old guy in dark suit to young guy in dark suit: You're not embezzling money!
–48th & 8th
(elderly gentleman in a brown suit with matching fedora walks by)
Ghetto #14 year-old-girl (screaming): Oh my god! It's a pimp! He's a fucking pimp!
Ghetto #14 year-old boy: Nah, he ain't a pimp. He can't be–he's like 90…and he's white.
–Under Broadway Stop, Astoria
Overheard by: well, it aint easy