Guy: My wife is just a hoot. She just tries and tries to undermine me. –Craft, E. 19th Street Girl: She’s into God and stuff like that. I hate that shit. –C train Overheard by: jason steinhauer Slut: …all I know is that it’s $40,000 and you’ve gotta buy him breakfast in the morning. –Dock’s Oyster Bar, 40th & 3rd Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Woman walking into apartment building: Why did I get stuck carrying the bag of butt plugs?
Hot girl on cell: You won't die if you get stabbed by a dildo. (pause) Well, even if it was a hooker. What did you drink?
–Cook St & Bushwick Ave
Overheard by: cameo
Homie on BlackBerry; No, no, peep this, I said "cock ring" and she says, "like the guy from the OJ trial?" I'm dead serious!
Attractive 20-something to friend: Got hit with a sex toy!
–Pillow Fight, Union Square
Overheard by: Anna P.
Girl to four friends: And then I saw my old wooden dildo. It was wooden!
–37th St & 8th Ave
20-something girl: This is the most exciting thing to happen today! And that's saying something, considering today was a day that included buying sex toys!
Man on cell: After I dropped Benny off at school I stopped by that harem.
–5th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Nerd
Old bald guy looking at Asian call girl section in newspaper, on cell, speaking very slowly and very loudly: Do… You… Take… Veee-saaaah. Veee-saaaah. Veeee-saaaaah! Yes! Visa! No? Okay, thanks. [Same exact dialogue takes place three more times.] Bingo!
Overheard by: not an asian call girl
Guy: I’m a good Jewish son -I got 90% off on a hooker!
Guy on cell: Man, I love hookers. My friend just told me about Craig’s list. Shit, there’s like 5,000 hookers on Craig’s list. I love that shit.
Overheard by: who knew?
Guido in leather jacket, to suit: So did anything ever happen with the whore?
–39th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Asian girl to friend: As long as I’m slutting myself out, I might as well get paid for it!
–22nd & 9th
Overheard by: Kate
Guy: Man, I don’t have any money… I wish I was a prostitute.
Overheard by: Kay
Man on cell: She ain’t gettin’ it. I’ll tell you what we’re going to do — we’re going to fire all the women. The one time a month we need ‘em, we’ll hire hookers.
–Washington Square Park
Man on cell: Don’t call her a prostitute! That’s my mom you’re talking about. You lived with her — was she a prostitute then? No, she was not!
–92nd & 1st
Overheard by: Jessie’s Girl
Suit: So have you considered prostitution? I’m not saying you should do it, but have you thought about it?
Hipster: She was movie hooker! You hardly ever see a movie hooker in real life!
Overheard by: wondering what they were talking about
JAP on cell: Fulton Street is big! Not as big as your appetite for hookers, but big enough!
–Broadway & Nassau
Overheard by: nbtd
Guy to friends at table: My dad owns a crackwhore house, and he wonders why his electric bills are so high!
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: Genna and Elaina
Construction worker #1: My girlfriend is being deported.
Construction worker #2: Why, 'cause she's illegal?
Construction worker #1: No, 'cause she's a fucking whore.
–38th St & 9th Ave
Girl #1: One of the best things our country could do right now is legalize prostitution.
Girl #2: Really? One of the best?
–Outside Magnolia Bakery, 11th & Bleecker
Overheard by: cupcake fan
Mother to five-year-old daughter: That's why she's a very smart woman. She married a very rich man for exactly that reason.
–University Place &10th St
Overheard by: evanescent
Homeless man to little boy with parents: Ask your mama why she marry your daddy. She'll tell you it was for the money.
–Statue of Liberty
Sorority girl to another: So like, do you think Brad makes good investments?
–53rd & 1st
Asian girl on cell: It's like I have a sign that says "trophy wife" written across my forehead, and then they find out I'm 22 and the sign is suddenly in neon.
Girl on cell: No, you remember, I'm going to be a gold-digger! It's like a hooker, but smarter.
College guy: You could always just become a prostitute.
College girl: That's exactly what I want to do with my degree. I've always wanted to be a whore.
Young Betty #1: Well, then, just stop complaining and become a hooker.
Young Betty #2: I don't even like sex with my boyfriend.
Young Betty #1: See? You're already nuts… you might as well get paid.
Angry teen on cell: I'm not gonna pay 18 dollars for a wedgie!
–Lingerie Department, Macy's
Overheard by: me neither
Girl on cell: I don't have a problem with camping, but why do they have to give me a sleeping bag? Can't they give me linens? It's not like I'm not giving them an insignificant amount of money.
–W Broadway & Grand
Suit on cell: At first I was only making $30,000 a year, but last year I got shot in the foot, and then I got a $1,000 bonus, so now I'm making $32,000 a year. Shit!
Overheard by: Brittany Smith
Loud woman on cell: I like and don't mind fucking you, but I need to get paid. I'm unemployed right now.
–108th & Broadway
Elevator operator for observatory, upon leaving: Please come again! We want your money.
–Empire State Building
Old guy in dark suit to young guy in dark suit: You're not embezzling money!
–48th & 8th