Archive for the ‘Prostitution’ Category

I Found Your Memoirs, Mom

Hyper small child: I like standing up!
Sitting harried mother: Great.
Small child: Look! I'm twirling!
Harried mother: That's wonderful.
Small child: I know all about the world!
Harried mother: You are very smart.
Small child: I know all about science! I know all about geishas!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Sarah

Every Wednesday One-Liner Has Its Price

Woman to another: She had one baby at her breast and another baby sitting next to her, trying to sell chicklets.

–10 Rockefeller Plaza

Overheard by: Jarrod

Young man to young woman: Sell it on the black market or give it up for adoption. That's basically your only two options.

–Grand St, Chinatown

Overheard by: Mike Posillico

Crazy woman to entire bus: My husband be given my money to all those hoes. That's why I gotta sell coffee. But at least I'm not sellin' my ass… (gets distracted by radio) Oh, this is a nice song.

–Bx15 Bus

Overheard by: Karly

Father of four, attempting herd jumping children on street: Okay, the next child that doesn't listen to me will be sold!

–34th & 3rd

Overheard by: Dahouhou

Midwestern lady tourist to husband: Huh, Virgin. I wonder what they sell there.

–14th St, across Doomed Megastore

Overheard by: Not buyin what they're sellin

Wednesday One-Liners from Beyond the NYC Event Horizon

Five-year-old girl, holding her nose, to mother: It smells here! It smells like New Jersey! Mommy! It smells like New Jersey!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Cicero

Teenager: Oh, wow, I didn't know New Jersey had any buildings.

–Christopher St. Pier

Girl on cell: I think I slept with a whore. Then I woke up in Jersey.

–Washington Square

Overheard by: Rachel

Crazy-sounding drunk girl: Ewww, why are there so many people from New Jersey here?

–Bowery & E 4th

Overheard by: do they emit a particular odor?

NYU guy trying to impress girls: My dad actually grew up right around here. Well…in New Jersey.

–St. Mark's & 3rd Ave

Girl sitting on raised metal platform on front deck to friend: Hey, do you want to turn around? We're looking at Jersey again.

–NYU LSP Boat Cruise

I Don't Like Where This Is Going

Older bag lady: How do you think mayor Bloomberg got so rich?
Woman with baby in stroller: I don't know. How?
Older bag lady: You think by being a slut?
Woman with baby stroller: Maybe.
Older bag lady: How do you think Oprah Winfrey got so rich?
Woman with baby in stroller: I don't know.
Older bag lady: You think by being a slut?

–Union Square

Overheard by: floridasunshine

Meet New York City's Most Functional Couple

Male suit: See, look at her! (points at woman on BlackBerry) Women are more likely to get killed while texting than men. Men are always aware of their surroundings.
Female suit: No, men just can't walk and text at the same time. Women are better at multi-tasking.
Male suit: Alright, since you're so good at multi-tasking, suck my dick and make me a sandwich.
Female suit: I've got news for you. If you keep eating sandwiches, even hookers won't want to suck your dick.

–Broadway & Astor Place

Overheard by: Ashley