Young woman: She's a gay prostitute!
Friend: Who told you that?
Young woman: Everyone and her mother knows Miley Cyrus is a gay prostitute! Look at her!
–Park Slope
Archive for the ‘Prostitution’ Category
I Found Your Memoirs, Mom
Hyper small child: I like standing up!
Sitting harried mother: Great.
Small child: Look! I'm twirling!
Harried mother: That's wonderful.
Small child: I know all about the world!
Harried mother: You are very smart.
Small child: I know all about science! I know all about geishas!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Sarah
…Who's Three Points Away from Getting His Hustling License
Girl #1: Yeah, but the more time I spent in New York, the more I realized it's just full of hustlers.
Girl #2, extremely emphatic: Oh, yeah! Everyone I know in New York is a hustler! (long contemplative pause)
Girl #2: 'cept my cousin.
–Jet Blue Plane Taking Off, JFK
Every Wednesday One-Liner Has Its Price
Woman to another: She had one baby at her breast and another baby sitting next to her, trying to sell chicklets.
–10 Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: Jarrod
Young man to young woman: Sell it on the black market or give it up for adoption. That's basically your only two options.
–Grand St, Chinatown
Overheard by: Mike Posillico
Crazy woman to entire bus: My husband be given my money to all those hoes. That's why I gotta sell coffee. But at least I'm not sellin' my ass… (gets distracted by radio) Oh, this is a nice song.
–Bx15 Bus
Overheard by: Karly
Father of four, attempting herd jumping children on street: Okay, the next child that doesn't listen to me will be sold!
–34th & 3rd
Overheard by: Dahouhou
Midwestern lady tourist to husband: Huh, Virgin. I wonder what they sell there.
–14th St, across Doomed Megastore
Overheard by: Not buyin what they're sellin
Pee-wee's Word Of the Day: “Whores!”
Suit #1: We need to come here more often and find some whores.
Suit #2: Yeah, whores are everywhere around here.
Suit #1: You always have to pay for whores with cash, it's when you use a credit card that they catch you.
–Marriot on Broadway
What Do You Think This Is, Staten Island?
Gristedes cashier to customer: Here's your change, and you get a coupon too.
Customer: Is it good for a Craigslist hooker?
–Upper East Side
Overheard by: Amused Shopper
Wednesday One-Liners from Beyond the NYC Event Horizon
Five-year-old girl, holding her nose, to mother: It smells here! It smells like New Jersey! Mommy! It smells like New Jersey!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Cicero
Teenager: Oh, wow, I didn't know New Jersey had any buildings.
–Christopher St. Pier
Girl on cell: I think I slept with a whore. Then I woke up in Jersey.
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Rachel
Crazy-sounding drunk girl: Ewww, why are there so many people from New Jersey here?
–Bowery & E 4th
Overheard by: do they emit a particular odor?
NYU guy trying to impress girls: My dad actually grew up right around here. Well…in New Jersey.
–St. Mark's & 3rd Ave
Girl sitting on raised metal platform on front deck to friend: Hey, do you want to turn around? We're looking at Jersey again.
–NYU LSP Boat Cruise
I Don't Like Where This Is Going
Older bag lady: How do you think mayor Bloomberg got so rich?
Woman with baby in stroller: I don't know. How?
Older bag lady: You think by being a slut?
Woman with baby stroller: Maybe.
Older bag lady: How do you think Oprah Winfrey got so rich?
Woman with baby in stroller: I don't know.
Older bag lady: You think by being a slut?
–Union Square
Overheard by: floridasunshine
…Does That Mean You Have a Coke Connection??
20-something guy to friend: And then he died of a cocaine-induced overdose, while having sex with a prostitute.
Friend: That's awesome!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Katie Compa
Meet New York City's Most Functional Couple
Male suit: See, look at her! (points at woman on BlackBerry) Women are more likely to get killed while texting than men. Men are always aware of their surroundings.
Female suit: No, men just can't walk and text at the same time. Women are better at multi-tasking.
Male suit: Alright, since you're so good at multi-tasking, suck my dick and make me a sandwich.
Female suit: I've got news for you. If you keep eating sandwiches, even hookers won't want to suck your dick.
–Broadway & Astor Place
Overheard by: Ashley