Archive for the ‘Psychology’ Category

Wednesday Hearts One-Liners

White trash woman to angry boyfriend: Stop! I'm in my car and I love myself! I love myself! Fuck you if you don't love yourself! Tyra says to love yourself, and I love myself! –49th & 11th Conductor: Passengers, as you all know the New Haven line is known as the Love Line, because of our red colors and red schedules. For Valentine's Day why not buy a loved one a ticket? Nothing says "I love you" like a Metro North ticket! Imagine the look on your mother-in-law's face when she opens up her present to find a one way trip to Manhattan! –Metro North Train Sorority girl: And this is a list of all the girls who love Jell-o. –St. John's University Overheard by: Peter G Guy on Bluetooth: What did I say? I said I love you and you didn't fucking say anything back. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? –Jackson Heights Excited black guy to friend: Damn! I think I'm in love, she's like the whole package! She's pretty, she's fuckable, and she can cook! –A Train Overheard by: Tim Little boy leaving the church: Bye, Jesus! I love you! –Riverside Church Overheard by: Stephanie

But How Could He Know?

Guy: I don’t know what happened. I was talking to my roommate, and then next thing I know, I’m sitting on the couch in front of the TV eating peanut butter with a spoon. I don’t know how I got there.
Girl: Wow…Do you do that a lot?
Guy: What, black out?
Girl: No, eat peanut butter like that.
Guy: Oh, um…yeah, I guess so. –G train, Greenpoint Ave Overheard by: G train enthusiast

Doctor, It Hurts When I Wednesday My One-Liners!

White college girl: I would definitely want to be a doctor, if I didn't have to go to medical school. –Fordham University Nurse to another: Well, it seems that the themes of the day were UTIs and pregnancies. –NYU Student Health Center Overheard by: had neither Black male pre-teen to mother: I know all about doctors, 'cause I watch shows about that. (pause) Actually, I watch Dr Phil. –1 Train Guy to two girls: I had to fire my doctor, I didn't like what he told me. –39th & Lexington Doctor, drawing on napkin and displaying results to student: This is you…in 40 years, in a fugue state. In Turkey. Dissociative fugue–learn neurology! –168th & Fort Washington