Archive for the ‘Public Transportation’ Category

Your Editors Believe We'll Have Another Drink

Conductor #1, singing: I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky.
(train stops and doors don't open)
Conductor #2: Doors! The doors!
(doors open and then don't close)
Conductor #2: Doors!
(doors close and train starts moving)
Conductor #1, singing with backup music: I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky. –F Train

It’s Part of the Elementary School Curriculum Here in New York

Drunken friend #1: That guy at the bar was hot. You totally should’ve taken him home.
Drunken friend #2: Why me? Let her (points to drunken friend #3) take him home.
Drunken friend #3 (trying to be discreet): Ummmm excuse me? I don’t need a man. I have d-i-c-k at home.
Drunken friend #2: Uhh, the rest of the train can figure out what you just spelled. –Crowded 6 Train Overheard by: ear hustler

The Little Wednesday One-Liners That Could

Lady suit: Every time I get on the subway there’s always some freak of nature sitting there. I wish they’d do something about that! –34th & 7th Dorky teen boy: This is the subway station?! Wow! –2nd floor, Port Authority Overheard by: JoBell Lady suit: If you smoke enough pot, the B Train becomes the Hogwarts Express! –DeKalb station Overheard by: jaded Blonde: I’ve only ever taken the shuttle from Grand Central to Times Square. I’ve never gone East on it. I don’t know how. –1 train Overheard by: minerfa Dad to young son as doors close: Come on, come on, come on! [He holds the closing doors, and they make it inside.] Um, don’t ever do that. –F train Overheard by: dianora