Archive for the ‘Public Transportation’ Category

Guess Whether or Not I’d Save You

Conductor to a group of passengers: You should flip the seats back, this is going to be a crowded train.
Passenger #1: Well, what if we lied down and pretended to be corpses or something? People wouldn’t take our seats then.
Conductor: No, people would just come and sit on you.
Passenger #2: But what if we were just like “We’re not dead yet!”?
Conductor: Well, they’d still sit on you, so you probably would be dead soon. –NJ Transit Overheard by: alison

Wednesday Wears the One-Liners in This Family

Southern tourist in pink pants: I don’t see anybody else wearing pink pants around here! –73rd & Broadway Overheard by: Harriet Vane Girl on cell, wearing leggings and a t-shirt: Oh, shit, I forgot to put on pants again. –Columbia University Lady in corner stall: Damn, I done sweated through my pants! –Restroom, 1 Liberty Plaza Smug girl to gaggle: No, these are my period pants. My mom washed them for me! –Columbia University Overheard by: bih. Thug: I’m the only playa in the hood with his pants on his waist! –10th & Ave B Overheard by: Kayla K Conductor over intercom: Attention, all crew members! Be sure you have your pants! Hey, Larry, you got yo’ pants? –Penn Station Overheard by: Geologist

This Round's on Wednesday One-Liners

Hobo to another: Now the average American might not know about the economy and the depression. But they know about Budwieser. If they go to the bodega and there's no Budweiser, they know there's a problem. –53rd Street E Station Overheard by: SJG Bald 30-something man: I believe in whiskey and little else. –Lorimer & Union Girl walking down the street: You took methamphetamines, I'm getting a Diet Coke! –2nd Ave & 11th St Overheard by: dazed and confused Elated girl: This beer is really helping my canker sore. –93rd & 2nd Overheard by: brian w Guy at bar: If the New York Public Library served Scotch, I would go there. –Karl's Klipper, St George, Staten Island Overheard by: Johnny Drongo Train conductor: Next stop, Moshulo Parkway…and can someone get me a fucking soda! I'm in car 3! I need a damn soda! –4 Train Overheard by: B-Dizzle Yo

Wednesday One-Liners Refer to 110th Street As ‘Downtown’

Exchange student: I was just telling him how to use a Post-it. –Columbia 20-ish male: Actually, global warming is only going to benefit New York City. –Columbia Overheard by: martina m. Chick: I am not eating somewhere with a misplaced apostrophe in its menu. –Columbia Overheard by: Ladle Young Columbia student: Yeah, so all of a sudden I was walking home drunk, in a diaper, with a huge scar. –1 train Columbia grad student: … And if you ask him he’ll say, ‘I’m making money for the school! I’m making money for the school! I do drugs! I do drugs!’ –1 train Student to another: As for the article, I don’t care about the truth of my argument. I care about people knowing how big my penis is. –Columbia Conductor: This is 116th Street, Columbia University. Good luck paying your tuition. –116th St Overheard by: Sam