Archive for the ‘Puerto Ricans’ Category

Yo Soy Wednesday-One-Liner!

Hobo with guitar, singing: My girl! That white girl is my girl! She may look like Brooke Shields but she's my girl! My girl! Oooh-ooh… Come on, everybody, sing with me, Puerto Ricans, too! –1 Train Overheard by: Tater Drunk Puerto Rican father to man on train, yelling: The capital of Puerto Rico is the Bronx, bitch! –6 Train Overheard by: Alice Dalice Guy, about some girls: I tried to tell them I was Puerto Rican, but they kept saying I was from Spain and called me a douchebag. –East Village Overheard by: NYCGlamDiva Diner waitress: Just because he's Puerto Rican don't mean he's a cheetah. –Park Slope Overheard by: monkey girl Asian girl to Hispanic guy: Come on! She's, like, the Puerto Rico of Asia! –Jamba Juice, Mercer & Houston

Let a Smile Be Your Wednesday One-Liner

Guy on cell: How can you be happy if you're acting like such a bitch all time? –Melrose Ave & 154th St Puerto Rican barista, as A-Team music starts playing: The A-Team! Man, that makes me think of when I was young and still happy! –Grand Central Overheard by: Chris K. 30-something woman: I'm going to see Transformers. Transformers! Daa naa na naaa! You have to be happy in life, everybody is dying. –34th St & Madison Ave Overheard by: Frank Molla Girl on cell, vehemently: I'm trying brown eyeliner. I hope this makes you happy! –Union Square Overheard by: Ashley 20-something girl: Just put some alcohol in me and I'll be happy. –St. Mark's Place

Wednesdays Could Use Their One-Liners As Walking Sticks

Man on cell: Well, at least my dick will finally seem bigger! –Prince St. & W Broadway Overheard by: Johnny Puerto Rican lady on phone to pal: Yo, his dick was mad little, yo! My son's dick is bigger than that! –Broadway & Havemeyer, Brooklyn Teen on cell: And you have a small penis. And you're gay. –Brooklyn Overheard by: And I Thought My Day Wasn't Going Well Black gay guy on cell: I feel so sorry for guys with small penises. Here I am, with a 12 inch dick and I don't even use it. –Penn Station Man on cell: You're dumping me because my dick is 11 inches and it's too big? That doesn't make any sense! –Lorimer & Maujer Overheard by: was this a lame attempt to hit on me? Petite yuppie on phone: Oh my god! It was so small I tried so hard not to laugh! But then I decided to boost his spirit and I said to him, "is it because it's cold in here?" (pause) Yeah, you're right, that couldn't have possibly boosted anything at all. Dinner was good, though. –N Train Overheard by: Mefisto

Wednesday One-Liners Just Got Off the Boat– Again

Puerto Rican guy to another: Out of all the continents, Staten Island is the craziest. –Spring St b/w Mott & Elizabeth Overheard by: Jack D Girl to guy: I can't wait to be a Staten Islander. –28th St & 3rd Ave Overheard by: Jennifer Suit on cell: I take the Staten Island ferry because it's like a free cruise. –60th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Mike Ferry announcer: Please follow the signs posted for your assistance, and please see uniformed crew men in case of emergency. Thank you for riding the Staten Island ferry. Have a nice life! –Staten Island Ferry Overheard by: Steven Professor: So is anyone here from Staten Island? (no reply) Good! –NYU


Rican tough tween chick #1: What about Rebecca?
Rican tough tween chick #2: I hear she a lesbian.
Rican tough tween chick #3: A lesbian?
Rican tough tween chick #2: Yeah, she likes girls.
Rican tough tween chick #1 (laughing): Fuck that shit. Who wants to like girls? –Bergenline Jitney, Newark Avenue, Jersey City Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Bone Wednesday-One-Liners-N-Harmony

Gay thug: I better be able to attend the motherfuckin’ flower show or I’m going to hit someone. –1 Train Thug: Man, he told us not to add more sugar but we put more sugar in that sauce. Shit was panty-droppin, son. –Deli, 21st St & 6th Ave Overheard by: Ryn Thug, in high-pitched voice and flailing arms, while running across the street in front of oncoming UPS truck: Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah! –45th St & 8th Ave Thug, to friend: That shit done tore my heart! –N Train Puerto Rican thug: Au revoir, here is my choo-choo train. –F Train Platform Overheard by: Garuda

Wednesday One-Liners Are in Dire Need of a Glade Plug-In

Drunk, angry Puerto Rican girl to boyfriend: You had to make me smell like fuckin’ Chinese food on new year’s eve! –Grand St & Graham Ave, Brooklyn Overheard by: someone who happily had a different New Year’s date, and wonders whether there is a Designer Imposters version of such a scent. Disgusted McDonald’s patron: This shit smells worse than a hobo’s taint! –14 & Broadway Overheard by: Shemp Man, entering subway car: Son, it smells like home depot in here. –4 Train Drunk sorostitute on cell: It smelled fine. It was just a febreeze gone awry! –Columbia University Overheard by: Ladle Queer: I can’t wait to move out of this decrepit office building. A couple of days ago a mouse died in the walls -you remember what that smells like. The guys in the office said: "Maybe it’ll go away after a week," but I told them it’s just going to get worse, so now they want to bring in some awful air freshener thing. Someone is already spraying that stuff in the men’s room, and it’s got a nasty artificial orange scent, so it smells like someone shat on a fruit basket. –28th & Park Overheard by: Rose Fox Girl with a huge ugly weave: I smell fried chicken! [Pauses.] … Oh, it’s prolly me. [Keeps walking.] –Library, Washington Irving High School