British guy: Two tickets to Grand Central, please. –Bowling Green station Overheard by: Kirsten Teasdale Woman on cell: I’m not going to punch her in the mouth, Danny. –Grand Central station Suit: You’re ruining my life, you pot-smoking whore! –34th & Broadway
Guy, to girl: If I wanted to be angry, I would have punched you in the face a long time ago. –34th & 7th Woman on cell: Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face. –33rd St & 31st Ave, Astoria Overheard by: Wade Woman: It’s not like someone put a gun to your head and told you to fuck her! –Penn Station Overheard by: Cha Guy on cell: Yes, I’m interested in your sparring class…No, you see I want to hit somebody. –Bryant Park Overheard by: Braincurve Thug, to his girlfriend: Yo, I don’t care if you a girl or not. I will bust you in the head with a rock. –Central Park
Mother, to four-year-old boy who has just slapped a little girl: Why did you do that?! Give me a reason right now. I demand a reason, now!
Four-year-old boy: I have to control her.
Hispanic toddler, whining: Daddy, I want a corn dog!
Hispanic dad, completely serious: I'm going to punch you in the face.
Hispanic mother: Coño!
–6th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jesse H.
JAP on cell: If more people wore glitter there would no war.
Crazy old guy: I want a dog for president. You know why? Dogs don't start wars.
–31St & Ditmars, Astoria
Overheard by: Randi and Patrick
(at an anti-war rally)
Street vendor: Say no to war, say yes to Louis Vuitton!
Overheard by: Oh the irony
50-something guy on cell: You see, we are a military agency, not a government agency. (pause) So when I punched out that Homeland Security guy, I punched out a civilian.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: Ksenia
Eight-year-old boy: I dare you to fight in the civil war!
Young black lady to friend: I am so happy this is my last week! I hate New York City! Everybody is so rude! Today I nearly punched somebody in the face!
Overheard by: thorn
Metro guy, singing: If you're happy and you know it, get a paper. If you're happy and you know it, get a paper. If you're happy and you know it, and you really want to show it. If you're happy and you know it, get a Metro.
Overheard by: erkala
Six-year-old boy to mom: The things in cave paintings don't always look happy.
–81st & 1st
Overheard by: Tim
Obvious lawyer, on Yom Kippur: My finger is happy to have the day off.
–32nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: k
Girl #1: When I got the shit beat out of me last year it broke my septum and I had to get surgery on my nose.
Girl #2: You did not get the shit beat out of you! A homeless woman punched you in the face!
Woman: It’s like ‘Here’s two boxing gloves. Put them on. Beat yourself up.’ –6 Train
Woman : Why didn't you kiss me?
Man: Cause you said you were going to punch me!
Girl: What happened?
Guy: Man, that girl brushed up on me, so I turned around, and the bitch said, “Don’t fucking look at me!” and she slapped me!
Guy: And then my girl just starting beating on her!
Girlfriend: Haha yeah! Did you see all that blood?
Guy: Girl must have been coked out for it to come spilling out like that.
Girl: It was crazy! We didn’t know what was going on!
Girlfriend: Its like that time at the club when I took off my shoe!
–Kellogg Diner, Brooklyn