Archive for the ‘Punch’ Category

Wednesdays Floss After Every One-Liner

Asian girl on cell: Yeah… or I could just knock her teeth out and sell them on eBay or something. –Chelsea Market Overheard by: Alyssa Girl on cell: And out of nowhere dude a goddamn peacock feather hit me in the teeth! –Starbucks, 8th & 39th Old man: I can smell my own tooth decay! –Times Square Overheard by: One Liners Are The Best Lady on cell: I don't know what to do. I'm like nervous… I know… I haven't bought toothpaste in years… –Duane Reade Guy on phone: The difference between you and me is you drink tea and eat tofu. I drink whiskey and make people eat their teeth. –48th & 5th Ave Overheard by: Rebecca

Wednesday One-Liners Have a History of Violence

Guy, to girl: If I wanted to be angry, I would have punched you in the face a long time ago. –34th & 7th Woman on cell: Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face. –33rd St & 31st Ave, Astoria Overheard by: Wade Woman: It’s not like someone put a gun to your head and told you to fuck her! –Penn Station Overheard by: Cha Guy on cell: Yes, I’m interested in your sparring class…No, you see I want to hit somebody. –Bryant Park Overheard by: Braincurve Thug, to his girlfriend: Yo, I don’t care if you a girl or not. I will bust you in the head with a rock. –Central Park

If You're Wednesday and You Know It, Clap Your One-Liners

Young black lady to friend: I am so happy this is my last week! I hate New York City! Everybody is so rude! Today I nearly punched somebody in the face! –Elevator, Midtown Overheard by: thorn Metro guy, singing: If you're happy and you know it, get a paper. If you're happy and you know it, get a paper. If you're happy and you know it, and you really want to show it. If you're happy and you know it, get a Metro. –Penn Station Overheard by: erkala Six-year-old boy to mom: The things in cave paintings don't always look happy. –81st & 1st Overheard by: Tim Obvious lawyer, on Yom Kippur: My finger is happy to have the day off. –32nd St & Park Ave Overheard by: k

Chinese Fighting Shoe

Girl: What happened?
Guy: Man, that girl brushed up on me, so I turned around, and the bitch said, “Don’t fucking look at me!” and she slapped me!
Girl: Really?!
Guy: And then my girl just starting beating on her!
Girlfriend: Haha yeah! Did you see all that blood?
Guy: Girl must have been coked out for it to come spilling out like that.
Girl: It was crazy! We didn’t know what was going on!
Girlfriend: Its like that time at the club when I took off my shoe! –Kellogg Diner, Brooklyn