Archive for the ‘Punch’ Category

God Bless the LIRR

30-something guy: Have you ever shot an AK-47?
40-something girl: Oh my god, yes!
30-something guy: How did it feel?
40-something girl: Pulling that trigger… It's amazing.
30-something guy: Getting punched in the face hurts. Have you ever gotten punched in the face?
40-something girl: Yes! When did you?
30-something guy: It was one of those “wrong place at the wrong time” situations… I was on the corner of this street and all of a sudden someone just came up and started punching me. It hurt really badly. Have you ever tried punching a bird? –LIRR Overheard by: Francesca

Wednesday Feel Trapped in a One-Liner's Body

Ghetto lady to another: Her son is a lesbian! –Port Authority Bus Station Suit to friend: Did I ever tell you about the time I ran into a Dunkin Donuts Drive Thru window with a transvestite in my back seat? –N Train Overheard by: Tater Cop: The trannies hate the DVDs. They just can't get along. They hate each other more than the Bloods and the Crips! –Union Square Overheard by: Jon A. Girl on cell: He just turned around and slipped into the skirt, and I just had to tell him! (pause) No, it didn't flatter his figure. –Avery Fisher Hall, Lincoln Center Crazy guy, pointing to girl sitting on fireplug: She's a man! That girl's a man! She's a man! Heh, heh…okay, stay there, I'll be right back. (pause) To punch you in the face! –23rd & 7th Overheard by: EthanK Guy on phone: First you wanted to be a car salesman, and now you want to be drag queen? –31st b/w 9th &10th Overheard by: roommate of guy on phone

Not in the Face, Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on cell: You keep talking over me–it makes me want to punch you in the uterus. –Ray's Pizza, 52 & 8th Overheard by: Jarett Guy to friend: You keep referring to me as "that guy" and we'll see how long you stay conscious. –33rd & 7th Nervous man seated against the wall: I don't like this seat. I don't like sitting here. I like to sit on the aisle. What if there's a fight? I don't want to be trapped in a place with a fight. –Off-Broadway Theatre Overheard by: Hannah Ghetto chick: Can't you get somebody else to fuck him up? Why you gotta do it? –W Train Overheard by: sara n. Man: He was trying to turn his alcoholism into a positive thing instead of attacking the guy who raped his sister. –The Strand Bookstore Overheard by: Slightly confused, yet intrigued… Girl on cell: Remember that time you got into a fight with an inch worm? –Chambers St Overheard by: Shooty

A Chain Of Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on phone: Yeah, I'm here. But I think I passed through the ghetto on the way. Yeah, it was definitely the ghetto. How do I know? It was really obvious: because I saw a sizzler and all the buildings looked the same! –Penn Station 20-something girl, watching street protest: They better not have closed Popeyes for this. –M Bus Overheard by: BHM Tiny white girl: I just want to go into Applebee's and punch everyone in the face. –Times Square Overheard by: that would pass the time… Girl on cell: Look mom, there's a Jamba Juice. That place is like famous. –Herald Square Slob tourist chick to fat husband: I hate my life! Ooooh, Olive Garden! –Times Square Overheard by: BarcLeh

Wednesday One-Liners Will Slap You Like a Red-Headed Stepchild

Woman on cell: Shut up! Shut up! I'm going to punch you in the face! I love you. –A Bus Spanish chick: Two things can't happen tonight. One, I can't get in a fight tonight. Two, I can't see nobody I don't like. –5th Ave & 11th St, Park Slope Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson Homeless, burnt-out surfer lady: Then I looked up, and this cunt is about to hit me like a man! –139th & Broadway Overheard by: Jesse Cromer Guy to girl: The next time your parents chuckle at my misfortunes, I'm gonna kick 'em in the nuts. I'm gonna kill 'em! –20th St & 5th Ave, Brooklyn Jamaican conductor over PA: Don't move between cars while the train is in motion. I don't want to have to knock you the fuck out. –1 Train Overheard by: Got Knocked Out