Archive for the ‘Punks’ Category

…So I'll Ask Their Names First.

Preppy white girl, about friend's shirt: I wanna party like a rock star!
Punk guy friend: So you want to play a show, shoot up heroin, fuck a stranger, then do it all again in another state the next night?
Preppy white girl: I don't wanna fuck strangers!

–Queensboro Plaza

Overheard by: diex-romantic

Hey, Mind If I Take Your Wallet?

Emaciated goth/punk guy: Hey, do you know where a CVS is?
Passerby suit: I don't know what that is…
Passerby preppy girl: Are you looking for a CVS?
Emaciated goth/punk guy: Yes!
Preppy girl: Well, there's a Duane Reade right there, it's like, the same thing.
Emaciated goth/punk guy, matter-of-factly: I know, it's just impossible to steal from Duane Reade.
Preppy girl: Oh.
Emaciated goth/punk guy: I'm really poor.
Preppy girl: Okay.
Emaciated goth/punk guy, cheerful: Thanks anyway!
Preppy girl, also cheerful: You're welcome!

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Hannah

Not Another Teen Wednesday One-Liner

Teen in sideways cap: I touched it, but I didn't like it.

–Uptown A Train

Overheard by: Ladle

Student: Dude, I think I'm dyslexic with stairs.

–Stuyvesant High School

Teen, seriously: No… Webkinz are definitely a lot more high-maintenance then neopets.

–Downtown 6 Train

Teenage boy: I want to be a Senator or something like that. Like, the Government is the best place to have sex.

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Punk teen to friends: Even though it seemed like she was into things, now she's not into anything.

–Union Square

Overheard by: i don't like stuff either

Wednesday One-Liners Graduate Magna Cum Laude

Young man: I think I hurt my throat when impersonating Mark having an orgasm.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Harmony Davis

Older queer to boyfriend: Uh! Uh! I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum! I have to have this record! It's so good! It makes me orgasm!

–W 72nd S, Record Store

Overheard by: Never achieved an orgasm that way…

Punk kid to two friends: I want to pierce my shaft and put different things in it so I can give girls better orgasms.

–West Village

Overheard by: Andy & Nick

Man on pay phone: I want to come all over your cock.

–Astor Place

Overheard by: sofia

Drunk chick, loudly as the bar goes silent: I could make you come with one finger!

–Bar, Fulton St

Overheard by: Izzy

Anatomically-Correct Wednesday One-Liners

Serious guy to another: See these hands? These are my bread and butter!

–Brooklyn Bridge

Overheard by: Hi-D

Well-dressed 25-year-old on phone: Yes. (pause) Please spare me the placenta. (pause) Okay, well, as long as it's clean.

–Key Foods

Woman on cell: So, she doesn't think her body is going to be ready by then?

–32nd & Park Ave

Overheard by: Publius

Man on cell: I wish I could just take my legs off. That would be so much easier.

–45th St & Ave of the Americas

Loud chick: Yeah, I'm still taking French classes. Last week we did commands, and this week we're learning, like, body parts.

–Hudson St

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

20-something girl on cell: But I have several heads…

–Metro-North Rail

Three-year-old boy to punk girl in black fishnets, as he pokes though holes: Um… why is your legs trapped?

–Thompkins Square Park

Wednesday One-Liners, Hosted by Rackspace

Woman on cell: He was here for ten days and he only touched my boobs twice!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: and my girlfriend would be upset if it were 10 minutes

Old thug passing three fat chicks on their way to a club: Explosion of titties!

–Myrtle Ave, Brooklyn

Hipster barista guy: A boob is just a moisturized bag of skin, seriously!

–Think Coffee

Overheard by: its to early for this conversation

Full-on punk guy: Dude! Shit is so good! I just want someone to squirt tahini all over my tits!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Dahlia

Girl on phone: Wait! What? No! Well, I do shit a lot. But I don't want to shit my boobs away!

–Times Square