Archive for the ‘Punks’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners’ Eyes Are Bigger Than Their Stomachs

20-something woman: Is she a bialy in real life? –Tomo sushi, 110th & Broadway Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred Very large black woman on cell phone, bellowing: I don’t do no motherfucking corn bread! Why the fuck you always want corn bread, motherfucker? –St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital, 114th & Amsterdam Punk girl to another: I wish I was a muffin. But I’m not. I’m a human. –B Train Overheard by: id rather be a cupcake Black Whole Foods employee to black whole Foods customer: You have to be raised on it, you hear me? I was raised on c-town, key foods. I ain’t gonna pay no 4 dollars for no eggs. –Union Square Whole Foods Clueless suit on cell: I’m just really bad at knowing if stuff is perishable or not. I just don’t know. Ok, so ice cream -that’s perishable, right? Butter -non-perishable. Caviar isn’t perishable either… Wait, what? Oh, butter is perishable? Wait, how do you know? Does perishable mean it has to be kept in the fridge? Ok, so does caviar have to be kept in the fridge? –E 60th St Angry 20-something on cell phone: Why? Why? Because I can’t eat spaghetti-o’s anymore! –E 13th St & 1st Ave

The Bluebirds Who Usually Do It Have the Day Off

Punk girl: So he said he really wants to get me really drunk again.
Punk friend: Why?
Punk girl: Because he said I’m as cute as a Care Bear.
Friend: What the hell does that mean?
Girl: Um, who cares? That’s so sweet… and I didn’t even sleep with him for it. Now help me push up my tits. –Q Train Overheard by: Ingss

Wednesday One-Liners Graduate Magna Cum Laude

Young man: I think I hurt my throat when impersonating Mark having an orgasm. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Harmony Davis Older queer to boyfriend: Uh! Uh! I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum! I have to have this record! It's so good! It makes me orgasm! –W 72nd S, Record Store Overheard by: Never achieved an orgasm that way… Punk kid to two friends: I want to pierce my shaft and put different things in it so I can give girls better orgasms. –West Village Overheard by: Andy & Nick Man on pay phone: I want to come all over your cock. –Astor Place Overheard by: sofia Drunk chick, loudly as the bar goes silent: I could make you come with one finger! –Bar, Fulton St Overheard by: Izzy

The Black Flag is at Half-mast

Guy #1: You do such dumb shit.
Guy #2: I do not.
Guy #1: Well, what about that E-trades tattoo on your leg?
Guy #2: I’m hardcore! –1 train Chick: Sell-out by day…
Suit: Shut up, okay? Whatever pays the bills. –CBGBs, The Bowery Overheard by: Sarah Royal Drunk guy on cell: Dude, that’s crap, you gotta live hardcore! –Williamsburg Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Teen girl: Man this sucks. Where are all the punks? –8th & Broadway Overheard by: Mary Chick: Darryl doesn’t even know what hardcore is, first off. He was all, “What, is that like some kind of porn?”. –2nd & A Overheard by: Kira Punk girl: Fight bureaucracy!
Suit: You’re not the boss of me. –Leonard between Broadway & Church Overheard by: Lakini Malich