Archive for the ‘Punks’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners, Hosted by Rackspace

Woman on cell: He was here for ten days and he only touched my boobs twice! –Penn Station Overheard by: and my girlfriend would be upset if it were 10 minutes Old thug passing three fat chicks on their way to a club: Explosion of titties! –Myrtle Ave, Brooklyn Hipster barista guy: A boob is just a moisturized bag of skin, seriously! –Think Coffee Overheard by: its to early for this conversation Full-on punk guy: Dude! Shit is so good! I just want someone to squirt tahini all over my tits! –St. Mark's Place Overheard by: Dahlia Girl on phone: Wait! What? No! Well, I do shit a lot. But I don't want to shit my boobs away! –Times Square

Craptacular Wednesday One-Liners

Man on cell: My identity has totally shifted, and so have my bowel movements. –Prospect Park Overheard by: Mickey Smith Girl to another: I took a shit in Starbucks… did you take a shit in Starbucks? –Outside Starbucks Woman to friend: There were no feces for (pause) two days. –Canal and W Broadway Overheard by: LizzieD Girl in toilet stall, repeatedly: Someone pooped on the floor! This is so gross! Medieval freaks! And it's shaped like a dragon! Come here and look at it! –New York Renaissance Fair British woman to man she's walking with, as they look at a pigeon: Of course he doesn't have to sit down to poo, he's a bird! –Washington Square South Enraged crazy old lady feeding pigeons, to punk kid chasing pigeons: Eat the caca! Eat the caca! –48th & 8th Overheard by: ShaghouseGirls


Street corner punk #1: Where did she say she lives?
Street corner punk #2: Yonkers.
Street corner punk #1: Yonkers? There's no place called “Yonkers”! She was playin' you, man.
Street corner punk #2: Whatchoo talkin' about, man? Yonkers is a city!
Street corner punk #2: Yeah right. There's also a city called “my balls.” –Sutphin Blvd & 89th Ave, Jamaica Overheard by: Big Larry

Wednesday One-Liners Make Digital Records Of Their Humiliation

Stoned girl to tourists filming and photographing ads outside M&M store: It's an advertisement, people! –Times Square Overheard by: Alice Hot woman in suit to unsuspecting family buying a knock-off purse: Don't buy that shit, you stupid fucking tourists! –44th & 6th Ave Overheard by: would never buy that shit NYC punk to tourist bus: Hey, tourists! Welcome to New York! {short pause} Fuck you! –8th & Broadway Young thug to friend: Man, if I told you once, then I be telling you a million times. You from New York, fool. In New York, you don't be going giving no tourists directions! If they say, "where's the Empire State Building at?" you spit on them and walk the other way! Now don't you go make me be telling you again! I've had enough of you and yo' foolish ways. (couple wearing "I (heart) New York" t-shirts inch away nervously) –Union Square Overheard by: Glad I had a map Suit with southern accent: Nah! That library has too many tourists. –51 & Lexington Overheard by: Miriam

Wednesday One-Liners Flunk the Polygraph

Woman on cell: I can't come. I'm in the Poconos right now. –Rite Aid, The Bronx Punk girl on phone: Hi mom…yeah… Yeah, me and Jane are just walking around in the neighborhood… Yeah, we're at the Time Warner center right now. No! No, of course I'm not on St. Mark's. No. I'd never go there. Of course I'm sober! Why wouldn't I be? Yeah. Okay, love you, bye! (hangs up phone, now to friend with beer) Gimme some of that! –St. Mark's Place Russian guy on phone (in Russian): Yeah, I'm on Avenue M. I just got off, I'll be there in a few. –Q Train, Kings Highway Overheard by: Robert Dude on cell: Yo! What's up? I'm waiting at LaGuardia. –Martin Luther King High School Overheard by: Susan Volchok Guy on cell: Yeah, I'm on Long Island right now. I'll be here for a little while. –Park Slope Female suit on phone: I have to cancel dinner tonight, I had that meeting I told you about, remember? And I'm still not back yet. Yeah. Yeah, I'm in Jersey still. –Washington Square Park Woman on cell outside a pub: Honey? It's mommy. We're still at the hospital. I don't know, we could still be here for hours. –1st & 72nd Overheard by: Well, there were hospitals nearby, at least

Everybody Needs a Wednesday One-Liner for a Pillow

Little kid: We're going to the city to get mommy titties! –LIRR Train Punk chick: This thing needs bazooms. I'm a punker chick with itty bitties. –Midtown Office Girl to female friend: Hey, did you know today is the three-year anniversary of my boobs? –Union Square Crazy lady trying to exchange a shirt: I can't go to work with my tits hanging out! –Abercrombie & Fitch Overheard by: me neither. Chick on cell: In his defense, I forget about breasts, too. –Columbia University Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy