Archive for the ‘Punks’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Will Pass You a Note in Study Hall

Teen girl: The teacher was like, "Everybody did well on the oral part, that's a good thing, because I hadn't thought it was too long or hard." And then a kid in the back shouted, "That's what she said!" –Times Square Teen girl, after being hugged by two boys: Okay, which one of you fingered me? –Outside Queens Center Mall Overheard by: disgusted educator on bus Teen on cell: Stuff? What the hell? Wait, stuff and things? What the fuck, man?! –Grand Central Overheard by: Quippy Pasqual Teenage boy: Every time you type "lol" a baby gets kicked in the head. –150th & Columbus Teen girl on cell: Why you always call me "ghetto?" I'm not ghetto. (long pause) Okay, I am! But I can't help it! –Park Avenue Overheard by: taylor Teen punk girl on phone: Yeah, I kinda got to third in a dumpster… No! No, it was a clean dumpster! –St Mark's & 2nd

Wednesday One-Liners Are Bursting with Fruit Flavor

Punk rocker to ghetto chick: Say…you ever been fucked by a smelly guy in a banana suit? –J Train Overheard by: Markthrone Loud, laughing redhead on cell: Ha ha! I'll plant another pear tree, and that will be Tricia! –W 57th St Overheard by: Susan Volchok Brosef to girls (oddly aggressively): Which do you like more, bananas or oranges? Say it! –14th St & 3rd Ave Overheard by: Rooting for bananas Guy on cell: Did you order the poster of the banana? –Central Park Overheard by: urbanadventurer Overachiever mom to 5-year-old girl: No, I'm not saying that you have to have a piece of fruit. I'm saying that when we get there, you'll get to choose. It'll be your choice. You can choose fruit or you can choose a granola bar. (pause) Of course, fruit is the healthier choice. –7th Ave & 26th St Overheard by: Rich Mintz Heavily tattooed man: So we started playing this game. We shoved grapes up her ass, and she had to drop them in a martini glass. –St. Mark's Place Overheard by: Housey

Why James Dean Wouldn’t Be Able to Get Laid Today

Punk girl: Can I get a cigarette?
Punk boy: You don’t smoke, do you?
Punk girl: No.
Punk boy: You just wanted a fucking excuse to talk to me, didn’t you?
Punk girl: Not anymore, arrogant cocksucker. (walks away)
Punk boy: Wait! I changed my mind! Come back, I have a cigarette! –St Mark’s Place

“Let’s Get Ready to Wednesday One-Liiiiiiiner!”

Bimbette: So yesterday he called me to tell me that he’s going to beat my ass, and then he calls me today to ask if he can use my CD player. –Staten Island Mall Overheard by: Robert Seven-year-old girl: She better watch herself before I pimp slap her. –Amsterdam Projects Girl, to rest of her punk skater group: But I be like: "Bitch, I don’t skate… I just beat bitches with it." –Astor Place & Broadway Overheard by: Jynx Lady on cell: Is someone else going to smack you? –1 Train Overheard by: Krisztina Man on cell: What… You flubbed what? Listen dude, I’m in midtown, but it’s too far a cab ride to come beat a grown man’s ass. –W Hotel, 49th & Lex Overheard by: Miami Hitman Bus driver to angry man: You want a piece of this? There are 26 places on the body that can kill you instantly. I can hit 4 in one shot. You wanna dance?! –M16 Bus Overheard by: nora!

Hot Wednesday-on-Wednesday One-Liners

Random guy, singing loudly: Leeeesbian seagull! –South Street Sea Port Overheard by: Ger-Man in New York Thug: Shit! I have to get my teacher a present. Its so hard. She’s like butch… You know what I’m saying? Shes got short hair and don’t wear earrings -like that chick [points to a woman who can obviously hear the conversation and looks affronted.] Yeah lady, you like the pussy! –F Train Drunk girl: You wanna know why I’m a lesbian? When I was crawling out of my mothers vagina I tasted that shit. And that shit was good. I just had to keep going back for more. –Odessa’s, Ave A Overheard by: Dannia Alfonso Hardcore lesbian tourist #1 to hardcore lesbian tourist #2: Hey! Beaver Street! Let’s eat down there. –Beaver St , Hanover Square Overheard by: WallStGuy Black teen punk girl, arguing with boyfriend: No, I’m gonna go become a lesbian now. Big. Huge. Les. Bo. –V Train Overheard by: Jon A. Buff guy: But now they’ll know I’m a lesbian. –Christopher & Bleecker Overheard by: Colleen

Uncle Tom’s Wednesday One-Liners

Short, fat sista: If she was only around my age, then I wouldn’t mind a slave for life. –27th & 7th Overheard by: tuna on rye White guy in scrubs: Wow. Now I know what it felt like to be in the bottom of a slave ship. –Crowded Franklin Ave 2/3/4/5 platform, Brooklyn Overheard by: pmd Punk girl to friend: I’m going to make him my Ukrainian sex slave! –N 4th St & Driggs Ave Overheard by: Hipsterrrrrs Dude: Yeah, well, let me say this in English — she got arrested for selling people… –Madison Square Garden Black girl watching Asian girl mop floor: Slavery is back! –NYFA, Union Square Overheard by: kswin