Student: Yes, but I feel that Robert was a boy while Mr Pontellier was a man.
Professor: Hm, yes, but I'm going to argue that they both had penises and were therefore both men.
–Queens College
Archive for the ‘Queens College’ Category
So Much Poor Hygiene in Such a Small Space
Freshman girl to friend: It smells like ass in here.
Junior girl with purple hair: I think it smells like stinky vagina!
–Queens College Campus
Overheard by: Lindsay
Animals Seldom Date Out of Their Species
Professor (explaining some complex syntax in language and then proceeds to use example): So, the dog ate the cat.
Student: Oh! Ooh!
Professor: Oh…? Oh! No, no, no! Not in that way!
–Queens College Linguistics Lecture
Overheard by: YoungEnoughNotToKnow
The Don’t-Go-Commando-in-Borrowed-Clothes Rule
Preppy girl: Come on, you have to go with us.
Athletic girl: I can’t, remember I don’t have a bra on and I have Lynn’s shirt.
–Cafeteria, Queens College
Overheard by: Waiting for time to pass.
So Anyway, We’re Expecting Our First Child in June. Yuck.
Girl: … So then he was like, ‘Do you think I’m hot?’ and I was thinking, ‘Ewww,’ but instead I was like, ‘You’re cute,’ and he was like, ‘Yeah, I like you, too. You have a nice ass,’ and I was all, ‘Ewww!’
Friend: Oh, yeah! Like, the same thing happened to me!
–Queens College
NewsFlash: All Mideast Conflict Problems Solved — All Major Religions Object to Method!
Dude: What happens if we don’t get jobs in the fall?
Chick: We bend over and fuck ourselves in the ass with our giant penises.
Dude: Really? What is anal sex gonna solve?
Chick: Anal sex solves everything!
–Queens College
Overheard by: RIes
So His Puppetmasters Would Have Us Believe
Asian chick #1: Don’t the Democrats want war?
Asian chick #2: Ummm… What?!
Asian chick #1: Oh… Wait… George Bush is a Republican?!
–Queens College
Overheard by: Sharon Sloan
I Hate These Clown Shoes!
Customer to cashier: Can I have a job application, please?
Cashier to manager: I need a job application for this guy.
Manager: Why in the hell would you want to work here? I’m trying to quit!
–McDonald’s, Queens College
Another Teen Emergency. Call the Ambivalence.
Girl: I was like, “High school is over. I can’t wait to get away from everyone!” And then, thanks to you, I actually realized that I might miss some people. You, James*, Gabrielle*, Dave V.*, Karen G.*!
Guy: But all of us except James are going to St. John’s, and he’s coming here to Queens.
Girl: But Gabrielle is going to Jersey! Everyone knows that once you go to Jersey, your soul dies.
–Queens College campus
Overheard by: Peter G.
I’m Ashamed to Be a Woman, Wednesday One-liners
Girl: Ugh. I hate it when guys come up to me and start talking about current events. Like I care. I just dismiss them. –Queens College