Archive for the ‘Queens’ Category

It’s All Greek to Me

Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee. –Midtown office

Where Is She Working???

Hoochie: I’ve been working for her for seven years. And I’ve been wanting to smack her up for seven years. And tonight, she gave me the opportunity.
Cashier: What if she called the police?
Hoochie: She couldn’t call no cops. It was self-defense. She’d go to jail. –Bodega, Bensonhurst

Wednesday One-Liners Have at Least One Marketable Skill

Pragmatist: I figure if I don’t get a job in publishing, I’ll become a video vixen.

–Dunkin’ Donuts, Ditmars Blvd, Astoria

Overheard by: Christine


Skank
: No way! I am not one of those girls. I am not a video girl…I am a dancer!


–34th & 8th

Overheard by: Skye


Ditz
: Supposably [sic], she’s going to be dancing in some Beyonce video. She’s so stupid.


–54th St between 9th & 10th


Media scholar
: Well it’s different when the girl getting fucked in the video is the same age as you. I mean, that’s great when you’re 15.


–20th & 8th


Frases De Miercoles

Young guy on cell: You're lucky I'm Colombian. If I was Ecuadorian, I'd be slapping you!

–Jackson Heights

Overheard by: Jobee

Angry man walking alone, to himself: I could have married a Dominican, but no, I decided not to!

–Mercer & Broome

Teen girl to friend: Your new Mexican is super creepy.

–On Line for the Colbert Report, Hell's Kitchen

Guy on cell: No, no, man, she's Puerto Rican. I'm just sayin' she's Dominican 'cause it sounds hotter.

–105 St & Lexington

Thug holding box of maxi pads: Yo, that motherfucker is like the gay Mexican Marlon Brando. Classic…

–CVS

Overheard by: Karen

You Cheeky Wednesday One-Liners!

Girl to roommate, after dog-sitting: I'm sad… I don't have anyone to stick their wet nose in my tushy.

–96th St & West End

Guy dressed as Santa: I just need my butt to evaporate.

–6th Ave & Waverly

Older black dude to another: She know I ain't go fuck with her, as big as her ass is.

–10th Ave & 28th St

Overheard by: julie

Frustrated tall boy: Does it look like I have an ass? No! It does not!

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny Lawrence