Archive for the ‘Queers’ Category

What What (In the Wednesday One-Liners)?

Russian woman to fat guy (after he yelled at her): Escooz me, cood you please poot your ass out of ze vindow so I can seet? (fat guy remains seated)

–B1 Bus

Overheard by: Robert

Gay: Your ass looks great! Have you started bottoming?

–Christopher St Pier

Young kid: 14th Street, like her ass on my face.

–Union Square Subway Station

Overheard by: Pza

20-something gay suit: My butt always causes friction.

–Elevator, Midtown Building

Sorority hungover girl talking about birth: I came out ass first, isn't that typical?

–Denny's

Guy to chick: We will use your ass as a presentational ass.

–Weight Room, Coles Gym

Overheard by: Ladle

Teen girl to friend: I feel like my butt just came off. You ever feel like that?

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: Alison

I Hope You Don’t Think I’m a Hobosexual

[hobo walks into the train with bag in cart]
Drunk queer standing behind hobo
: Move it or lose it.

Hobo: Who the fuck is that?!
Queer: Queen Victoria.
Hobo: I’m a marine, I’ll fucking kill you.
Queer: Let me know when you get your VA check, I’ll help you spend it.
Hobo: Yeah, sure I’ll do that.
Queer: In Central Park.
Hobo: I’ll call you.
Queer: My number’s 444-332. Call me at that number.
Hobo: I won’t call you.
[they get off the train giggling]

–A train, Columbus Circle

Overheard by: JohnD

A Lovin’ Spoonful of Wednesday One-Liners

Little boy: I love Manhattan! I love Tic-Tacs!

–Brooklyn Heights

Wife to husband: No wonder your eyebrows are making love!

–47th & 5th

Overheard by: anon

Biotech to texting friend: Now we’ll see how much he cares about you. I love testing people!

–23rd Ave, Astoria

Overheard by: sara n.

Gleeful hobo rubbing stubble beard: I love my beard! Mmmm, I love you.

–93rd & Broadway

Overheard by: punkee

Queer on cell: I don’t want love handles on love day!

–Lafayette & Astor

Woman on cell: Happy Valentine’s Day… Do you still love me, or do you hate me now?

–Hudson St

Overheard by: lilli

Just One More Hit of Wednesday One-Liners

Conductor: Attention, ladies and gentlemen, there’s a slight delay due to reports of somebody smoking crack… and other stuff… on the back of the train.

–Church Ave

Overheard by: Katie & Jaime

Teen girl, to older woman: You ‘posed to eat. Ain’t ‘posed to smoke no rock!

–Classon & DeKalb

Queer in RA’s office: Now, when we got there they were selling hash brownies and weed muffins — we were in Amsterdam — and everyone else was trying some, so I figured I would, too. Then we went to the Anne Frank Museum, and of course that’s when they started kicking in…

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Wishes he heard the rest of the story

Man on cell: I know, but then they started smoking crack on stage.

–10th St & Stuyvesant

Guy on cell: I’m at Stuy High… Whaddya mean ya don’t know what that is?! Gotta know where the weed’s at!

–Near Stuyvesant High

Man to concerned woman: Don’t think of it as buying weed from a drug dealer. Think of it as supporting a cottage industry.

–Christopher & Bleecker

Overheard by: amused priest