Archive for the ‘Queers’ Category

Haven’t You Pissed Off God Enough Already?

Queer #1: She’s kinda bummed…Her parents split; her dad’s marrying another man.
Queer #2: Luckily, that’s not atypical. –Elevator, 14th Street & 8th Avenue Queer #1: I’ve been feeling so gross lately. I wonder if it’s because I’ve been having so much ass sex.
Queer #2: Gross like a whore?
Queer #1: No. Like, every time you shit your poop gets rubbed into your ass wounds. Maybe it’s making me sick…What? It’s like rubbing your papercuts in Bombay sewer water. –Boysroom, Avenue A Overheard by: zac Queer: I don’t care about my boyfriend like I care about you. I am buying you these things because I love you. His phone rings. Queer: Hello?…Aw, I love you, too. He hangs up. Queer: That was him. –Barney’s, Madison Avenue

Nothing Makes Me Come Like Some Zyklon, Redux

Queer: Why do you like him? The guy behind us in the black shirt is so much hotter.
Hag: Ew…
Queer: You know I like those big, rough German types…if he put me in a camp, just imagine all the terrible things he would do to me.
Hag: …Would you stop staring at him?
Queer: I so want him to rape me.
Hag: Get over it, he’s not gay!
Queer: Whatever, if we were in prison he’d so be doing me. –Yankee Stadium Overheard by: Smack Jack Guy: This is going to sound awful but Ryan Gosling was really hot in that movie where he played the Nazi with the shaved head.
Girl: Yeah, he was a hot Nazi in that movie. A hotzi, if you will. –92nd Street Y Overheard by: Kelly

Just One More Hit of Wednesday One-Liners

Conductor: Attention, ladies and gentlemen, there’s a slight delay due to reports of somebody smoking crack… and other stuff… on the back of the train. –Church Ave Overheard by: Katie & Jaime Teen girl, to older woman: You ‘posed to eat. Ain’t ‘posed to smoke no rock! –Classon & DeKalb Queer in RA’s office: Now, when we got there they were selling hash brownies and weed muffins — we were in Amsterdam — and everyone else was trying some, so I figured I would, too. Then we went to the Anne Frank Museum, and of course that’s when they started kicking in… –Fordham University, Lincoln Center Overheard by: Wishes he heard the rest of the story Man on cell: I know, but then they started smoking crack on stage. –10th St & Stuyvesant Guy on cell: I’m at Stuy High… Whaddya mean ya don’t know what that is?! Gotta know where the weed’s at! –Near Stuyvesant High Man to concerned woman: Don’t think of it as buying weed from a drug dealer. Think of it as supporting a cottage industry. –Christopher & Bleecker Overheard by: amused priest