Yuppie: I was just teaching the scientific method to my students.
Nerd: Oh, so you teach them induction and deduction?
Yuppie: [long pause] The students aren’t that smart so I don’t teach them big words like those.
– Party, Manhattan
Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category
Some Shot!
Young Woman: Are you part Italian?
Older Woman: I’m Italian by injection!
–Private party, NYC
Malice Goes to Style Court
Guy: Who would you rather have sex with? The girl with the lazy eye or the fat chick?
Girl: Lazy eye.
Guy: Yeah, she’s got a good body.
–Style Court Audience
Overheard by: Tibbie X
Classified by Race
Yuppie #1: “I never put my race down on those forms. Why should I be
classified by race?”
Yuppie #2: “I feel the same way about putting my height down on my driver’s
license.”
If The Shoe No Longer Fits…
Man #1: Are you calling me fat?
Man #2: No.
Man #1: Yo, Joseph. I want a chicken pot pie, too.
–KFC, Delancey St.
A gay man in Chelsea?
Two men walking arm-in-arm down 8th Ave. in Chelsea: “Wait, I don’t get it. You mean you want to date, like, girls?”
How you know you’re not in New York (part 2)
Tourist in Vancouver: Where is a neighborhood with lots of bars and cafes? Vancouverite: The street with all the bars and cafes is…. [then points and gives directions]
Check Your Attitude While You’re At It
Bag check guy: I want your bag.
Comic book chick: Pardon?
Bag check guy: You know the rules. Give me your bag.
Comic book chick: Sorry, I didn’t know I had to check this.
Bag check guy: What did you think, that I’m just some crazy black man sitting up here harassing people?
Comic book chick: Could be.
Bag check guy: That’s true.
–Forbidden Planet, 13th Street
Readers: Answer This Overheard Current Events Question
Old school Brooklyn guy: They closed off 150 blocks in DC for this inauguration and where do you think all the people that live on those blocks are gonna park, if not here in the five boroughs? –Greenpoint Overheard by: Didi Hylobates
Maybe I’m Squeezing You Too Hard (AKA Escape from the Port Authority)
Guy: Dude, is it just me, or does it hurt when you pee too? –Port Authority Overheard by: Kris