German tourist: You can’t smoke inside and you can’t drink outside. What the hell do you people do in New York City? –Carroll Gardens Overheard by: Christopher
Recent college graduate #1: Have you ever seen an actual 8-track?
Recent college graduate #2: Yes, I’ve seen one–but I’ve never seen a movie on one. – Private apartment, Boerum Hill, Brooklyn
Pastry Shop Worker: Is anyone willing to give up their seat for a girl that has to stand on her feet all day?
Train Riders: [SILENCE]
Pastry Shop Worker: Come on, all you guys just go sit in front of your computers every day, how damn hard is that? I have to make shit for people and stand on my feet all day. You people are so selfish! –6 Train
A little boy sees his mom’s reflection in the window. Boy: Mommy, are you a ghost? –2 Train
Two women are seated across from each other on the train. One has a long object in a soft-sided container.
First woman: Is that a bassoon?
Second woman: No. It’s a sword. –C Train
Yuppie #1: I really want a drink
Drunk Homeless man (to Yuppie #2): What are you reading?
Yuppie #2: I’m reading a book on sobriety.
Drunk Homeless man (looking over her shoulder): Oh
Yuppie #2: Yes, it’s also about drug additions..valium, etc.
Drunk Homeless man: Really that’s interesting – Union Square Park
Taco Bell Lady: 1 Beef Burrito.
Customer: As in 296? Is that order 296?
Taco Bell Lady: Yeah.
Customer: Are you sure? I don’t want to take someone else’s.
Taco Bell Lady: Uh huh.
Customer [under his breath]: Do you know where you are? –Taco Bell, West Village
Customer: Is that banner going to be permanent?
Cashier: For a little while. –Forbidden Planet
A young man apparently cuts the line at the PO.
Old Italian: Hey, there’s a line here buddy.
Young guy: I waited already, I got money orders.
Old Italian: I didn’t see you anywhere near the line.
Young guy: I got money orders before and now I’m mailing them.
Old Italian: We’ve all got orders. Geez, no one wants to wait on line any more. And now the guy’s serving him.
Young guy: Shut up.
Old Italian: Ah, get lost, you idiot. If I was five years younger I would put you up against the wall.
Postal Worker: Next.
Old Italian: How much to send this express mail?
Postal Worker: $13.65.
Old Italian: Maron. –Bensonhurst
Woman upon seeing a Mariachi band walk by: Why do they have tambourines on their legs? – Manhattan