Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category

She Also Needs to Emerge Victorious from Every Conversation

(waiting for a train near the last few cars)
Guy
: This train looks pretty crowded.

Girl: Yeah. Good thing Jackie isn’t with us.
Guy: What do you mean?
Girl: If Jackie can’t ride in the first car, she’ll wait for the next train.
Guy: Why?
Girl: “Because you get there first!” she says. Jackie! The whole train gets there at the same time!

–Pen Station

Overheard by: GregLarry

Man, Those Hobos Really Need to Take Some Creative Writing Classes

Lady to young man: Excuse me, sir, I just lost my wallet…
Young man (interrupting): And you need a dollar to get a bus home?
(lady says nothing and walks off)

–14th St b/w 2nd & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: I love Artichoke!

Headline by: Allison

Runners-Up:
· “Actually I Was Hoping for Your Emergency Condom” – “Jimmy” Wrapper

· “Asshat Misses Chance at Cheap BJ” – Leary Blaine
· “Ladies Get Turned Off by Todd’s Premature Speculation Problem” – FizzyGurrl
· “Maybe She’s Afraid Of Psychics” – tedric
· “Psh, Like Buses Only Cost a Dollar” – samson
· “They Give You More If You Just Call It a “Bailout”” – stimulated economy
· “This Might Have Worked Better If They Hadn’t Already Been on the Bus” – KateNonymous


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

That's the Last Time I'll Try Something New, “Just for Kicks.”

Oldish lady #1: So, how have you been?
Oldish lady #2: Well, I just had a horrible experience! People always told me that ultrasounds were worse than childbirth, and I never believed them. You know, I never had children. But really! They were doing an ultrasound and I've never experienced anything more painful in my entire life! And then they couldn't find my gallbladder! It was horrible!

–37 Arts, W 37th St

Overheard by: hunterfosterspitsalot

Ever Seen My Titties, Dude?

Black hipster guy, pointing at newspaper: Look, look at this, I was right! I told you so! Tell me I was right.
Redhead hipster girl: Yeah, you were right.
Black hipster guy: Tell me I was right, and that I'm a sexy motherfucker, and that you want my cock really bad.
Redhead hipster girl: Okay, you were right, you're a sexy motherfucker, and I want your cock sooo bad. (starts whispering in his ear)
Black hipster guy, pushing her away: What is wrong with you? Who raised you? Were you raised by wolves…slutty wolves?

–Uptown 1 Train

Never Take Sex Advice From the Tin Man

Hipster guy #1: Just, like, wait for her to bend down to tie her shoe or some shit.
Hipster guy #2: Then I should put it in? Like, through her pants?
Hipster guy #1: What? You’ve never been that hard?

–Studio B, Brooklyn, NY

Overheard by: DJALLTHETIME

Headline by: blistexaddict

Runners-Up:
· “… But Do Vinyl Stretch Pants Work As a Contraceptive?” – I’m wearing them, just in case

· “It Cuts Through Anything, Even This Aluminum Can.” – Beery
· “It’s the Only Way I Got Any in Saudi Arabia” – master
· “Mary Could Never Quite Explain to Her Doctor How Her Tonsils Got Perforated.” – Jen
· “Oh Sure, That’s How I Sewed This Shirt.” – Taylor
· “Or Just Use That Knife Thing From Se7en” – BabakganoosH


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

How Many Lines Are in a Wednesday One-Liner?

Woman stopping passersby: Do you know the Chinese restaurant on either 8th or 9th? (points at buildings on 14th Street)

–14th St & b/w 7th & 8th Ave

Girl to another: What is jizz?

–NYU Freshman Dorm

Overheard by: Betty Noir

Man in all seriousness to restaurant server holding two plates of food: Do you guys serve food here?

–Las Ramblas Tapas Restaurant

Woman on cell: Do you think they have batteries in the Dominican Republic, or should I buy some?

–Gateway Center, Brooklyn

Overheard by: DominicanEnergizer

Tourist woman: Excuse me, do I go Uptown or Downtown?

–Delancey St

Overheard by: TR

Bewildered girl in Persian class: Does Iran have lightning?

–NYU