Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category

And I Ran Out Of Monkey Wax

Hip student #1: How's Libby?
Hip student #2: She's good. We're getting along really great. We eat dinner together every night. She's really smart and she's so pretty. The only problem is…
Hip student #1: The only problem is what?
Hip student #2: I think I might be allergic to her fur.

–Columbia Campus, Morningside Heights

Overheard by: some girl

Won’t You Please Donate to Help These Poor Victims of Time Travel?

Shirtless old guy, walking over to a group of friends: Looks like you got a nice circle there, mind if I join you guys?
Stranger: No, I think we’re good…
Shirtless old guy: Well, I’ll be back…[looks up at the trees.] Do you see the pterodactyls? …up there, the dinosaurs? [Wakes up a hobo on the benches.] Sir, you see them, don’t you? …pterodactyls…pkawww pkawww [flaps his arms.]
[back to the group of friends]
I’ll be back. pkawww!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Arvind Chandra

Ew, Who Wednesday One-Linered?

Elderly janitor, watching pierced teenagers get in line: I'm gonna fart on one of these people.

–Broadway & Houston

Angry man on cell: They think they're so perfect, but I bet they piss and burp and fart like the rest of us.

–80th St & 34th Ave

Hobo: Can you spare some change? I need to buy some new underwear, I farted and shat in these.

–83rd St & Broadway

Overheard by: new girl in town

Tiny brunette: Have you ever had to pee so bad, and suddenly you fart and then you don't have to pee that badly anymore?

–7 Train

Young woman to friend: Yeah, and then she started fartin' a bunch. But she was farting out of her pussy. And Ashley got pissed, cause then, she started makin' a beat out of it.

–125th St & Lexington

Overheard by: Stephen

Poserday One-Liners

Random hipster: If David Bowie had wheels, how much would you pay to ride on him?

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: haxromana

Scrawny hipster dude to another: All I'm saying is: I want to be in a position where I'm not liking it, and I know he's not liking it either.

–Troutman & Evergreen

Overheard by: Kristen

Hipster: I was much more desperate in Chicago.

–6 Train

Hipster kid: I'm just afraid that my sweatshirt isn't edgy enough.

–SoundFix Records, Brooklyn

Overheard by: chelce

Teenager: He's having a hard time dealing with being a hipster.

–Columbus Circle

Game. Set. Match

Guy: You remember those Lycra bicycle shorts?
Friend: No.
Guy: … From the mid 90s?
Friend: No.
Guy: Well they were really tight.
Friend: Ok.
Guy: I used to wear them when I was younger and be really embarrassed when I got erections in them.
Friend: I used to jerk off with my dad’s dirty magazines. I would wrap them around my dick.

–Churchill’s

Overheard by: Veggie2001

The Best Part Is, They're Talking About Children's Programming

Guy #1: May I presuppose what I think you're trying to articulate, which is, that the core universality of your character's arc needs to be explicitly emphasized in the color palate?
Guy #2: I think that's fair, but I'm not sure you can go there with an audience.
Guy #1: But isn't the whole narrative journey bringing them there?
Guy #2: Yes and no. Essentially we can't bring them there, because we can't get there ourselves.
Guy #1: Hmmm, I'm not sure if I agree with that.
Guy #2: We can't get there. Our protagonist can't get there, he can't bring us there with him.
Guy #1: Where?
Guy #2: The river.
Guy #1: Why is he going to the river?
Guy #2: Because that's–that's–that's the thing. That's the thing he has to do. It's like, he is that river, and that's why we go to a wide-shot there.
Guy #1: I do see the wide-shot there, but I think we need more exposition for the catharsis to work.

–Think Coffee, 3rd & Mercer

Overheard by: todd