Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category

Tales from the Supermarket

Obese cashier lady: This soy milk supposed to make you slender?
Woman: Uh, I dunno.
Skinny cashier lady: Girl, ain’t no soy milk gonna make your fat ass slender!
Obese cashier lady: Shut your ass up. –Gristedes, West 64th Street Overheard by: vegannramember Man #1: I’m talkin’ about cup noodles, nigga.
Man #2: Them shits is good.
Man #1: They’s cheaper than mac and cheese.
Man #2: Mac and cheese went up by a dollar!
Man #1: Tell me you is playin’! –L train Overheard by: Mason Buck Cashier lady: How come this rings up as “Homo Milk”? –K-mart, East 8th Street Overheard by: Tommy Raiko Loudspeaker: Aisle 10 is now open for customers with less than a million items. –Key Food, Astoria Overheard by: Christa

When I Chain You to the Treadmill Tonight, I’ll Be Doing It with Love

Middle-aged woman on her cell: Where are you? Don’t get the pizza, it’s too many calories. Just get a salad or something. Well, I only say that because I had a nightmare last night where you got big. It was awful. Oh, honey, come on I love you, stop.
I’m just saying, if you had a dream that a building was collapsing and a guy was about to walk into it, wouldn’t you say “stop”? Well, then we agree.

–Pax Wholesome Foods, 6th & 40th

Here's Forest Whitaker to Explain

Park Slope mom #1: I'm going to be honest. We have night birds near my house.
Park Slope mom #2: Oh my god! Us too! I tried to report it!
Park Slope mom #1: Why are these birds chirping at night? Don't they need to sleep?

–Park Slope

Overheard by: D-Law